The Book
by ZoeFinlay92
Summary: Lauren Branning never expected to wake up in a hospital and not remember the last few years. Getting drunk, going out with her friends and lots of family troubles is what she remembers, but she finds she is living a whole new life married to her cousin.
1. Chapter 1

**Lauren POV :**

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The faint noise was driving me insane. I didn't know where it was coming from, but whatever it was, I was about to take drastic measures to make it stop. Like maybe with my fist?

I opened my eyes, expecting to be in my single bed with the purple polka dot sheets, and the white iron frame, my alarm clock blaring next to me.

But I wasn't. I was in white sheets, and the bed was clearly not my own.

'The hell?' I thought, turning my head slightly. It hurt just to move my neck, and I quickly scrunched my eyes shut to dull the pain.

Opening them again, I trained my eyes on the far wall of the room. It was a light almond colour, with a boring painting of a tree.

'Where am I?'

I turned my head as far to the side as I could, willing the pain away. There was someone sleeping in a chair beside my bed. I didn't recognize them and I immediately wondered why they were there.

"Oh you're up!" a bright voice said.

Startled I turned my head to the other side to see a woman stood before me in scrubs. My head screamed in pain as I did so and I closed my eyes again.

"Just relax," she said, "I'll get the doctor."

I tried to open my mouth to speak, but I couldn't. I had no idea where I was, or why, and I was seriously starting to freak out.  
"Babe!" a male voice said to my side. I opened my eyes again to stare up at the guy who'd been sleeping. "Oh god, you're ok!" He didn't touch me, but he looked like he wanted to.

I had no idea who he was, but he seemed faintly familiar.

Another man came into the room, hovering over me with a pair of glasses on. "Lauren can you hear me?"

I nodded as best I could, my head still aching.

"You were in an accident," he said, " You've broken your arm and you hit your head pretty hard."

I stared at him, my heart beating fast. I had no recollection of the accident at all. This was starting to get seriously scary.

"Can you speak?"

I tried again, but then shut my mouth. It was so dry and everything about it hurt.

"Don't stress yourself," the doctor said, "We'll get you some water and you should rest. We'll try again later."

I continued to stare at him, I felt on the verge of tears but they were nowhere to be found. The nurse gave me some water and another round of painkillers and I fell back to sleep. The guy that was in my room didn't move an inch from his seat. He didn't touch me, but he sat and looked at me intently, worry etched on his face.

* * *

It wasn't until the next afternoon that I managed to get some words out.

"Where am I?" I whispered as the nurse tended to my IV.

"We're in Northwest London. You're in a private ward."

"Why?"

"You were in an accident."

"What happened?"

"You don't remember?" she asked lightly.

"No."

"You hit your head pretty hard," she said, "I'd be surprised if you did."

The guy was still in the room. He hadn't moved an inch since I'd first woken up but I could hear him slide forward in his seat as I started to speak.

"How long have I been here?" I continued.

"Pushing a week now."

"That long?"

"It was a pretty nasty accident," the nurse said, "Now why don't I go get the doctor and he'll speak with you about it."

"Ok," I said. I avoided eye contact with the guy. I still had no idea who he was and his presence was starting to put me on edge.

"Babe," the guy whispered, finally reaching out to touch my un-casted hand, "It's going to be ok." I flinched at his touch. I had no idea who he was or why he insisted on staying in my room.

I didn't respond, I just shook my hand from his, putting it under the covers of my thin blanket. The guy seemed put off, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Alright let's try this again," the doctor said, coming into my room. "How are you feeling?"

"My head kills."

"You hit it pretty hard. At least you were wearing a seat belt, without it you probably would have died."

I sucked in a quick breath, frightened by the statement.

"Do you mind answering some questions for me?"

"Ok."

"What's your name?"

"Lauren," I said.

"Surname?"

"Branning."

The doctor looked over at the guy sitting next to me, the pair of them sharing some wordless thought.

"What's your birthday."

"29th March," I recited.

"Good, now how old are you?"

"You're kidding right?" I asked, "I'm 18."

The doctor looked up at the guy again. He was shaking his head from side to side as if I'd answered the question wrong. But I hadn't I knew I was right.

"What year is it?"

"2012."

"And can you tell me who this is?" the doctor asked, nodding towards the guy that had been at my side this whole time.

I turned my head to inspect him for a minute. He certainly looked familiar… but where was he from? The light bulb went off after a minute and I hazarded a guess. "That's my cousin, Joey" I said."

"Right, Mr. Branning, do you mind stepping out for a moment?"

"Can't I stay?" he asked, "She needs me."

"Right now I think it best I speak to her alone."

Joey stared down at me for a second and then nodded his head in agreement. "Ok, I'll be right outside."

I waited patiently for the doctor to write a few things down and then he turned to speak to me again.

"Lauren, it appears you are suffering from some memory loss."

"What?" I asked, totally shocked.

"You said it was 2012."

"Yeah…"

"It's 2016."

"It's not," I muttered, my heart falling as the doctor spoke. He showed me a print out of my medical chart, and then a newspaper that was on a side table. Both had dates to prove his point.

"Did you know you're married?"

"Married?!" I laughed. That sounded ridiculous.

"Yes," the doctor said solemnly, "To Joey."

I let out a bark of laughter at this, a slice of pain going through my head. Wincing I closed my eyes to regain my composure, opening them up again and staring at the doctor. "I'm not married to him."

"You are," the doctor said, "That's why he's here."

I blinked a few times in shock, not sure how to react.

Like hell I was married to my cousin .

* * *

**R&R**


	2. Chapter 2

"How long are you going to keep me here?" I asked the doctor as he finished jotting some notes down.

"We've got to run a few more tests, do another MRI and that. Maybe two days minimum? It really depends on what we find."

"Oh."

"I'm sure everything will be ok," the doctor said, "Things like this happen differently with different people. I'm sure you'll remember things soon enough."

We ran through more questions and it became clear that I'd only lost the last four years of my memory, and even then not all my memories. Random little things still remained, but nothing that added up to much.

"I'm going to go speak to Joey and then I'll let him in to speak to you," the doctor said.

"What am I supposed to say to him?"

"Whatever you want."

"Right," I said, confused about what was expected of me. I had a slight idea how I met this guy but that was pushing it, and why would I be married to him he is my cousin isn't he?. He was a stranger in my eyes.

It was a good fifteen minutes until the door opened and Joey came in. He gave me a forced smile before turning to sit in the chair next to my bed. To be honest he looked pretty freaked out by everything.

"So…" I started.

"How do you feel?" he asked politely, I could feel his eyes trying to search mine and I couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable. I purposefully trained my eyes on the wall across the room so he couldn't do it anymore.

"Honestly, I'm terrified."

"It'll be ok," Joey whispered.

"How do you know?" I asked, turning to look at him, "How do you know everything is going to be ok?"

"I believe in you," he said, "You'll get your memories back."

"It's not that easy is it?"

"No, but I'll help where I can."

"I don't even know you," I said, "I mean, I know of you. But I don't know you."

"I'm your husband," Joey sighed, "You do know me."

"Joey, in my head I'm 18 years old and you're my cousin who I have only met once. We don't know each other."

"A lot's changed in four years," Joey said with a faint smile, " We've certainly changed."

"Well I don't remember."

"Listen Lauren, I know this has got to be really scary, but I'm here for you. I want to help you through this. Will you let me?"

"Umm…"

"Why don't I call your sister to come down and speak to you? She'll help you understand a little bit," Joey sighed, grabbing his phone out.

I could tell he was disappointed at how distant I was being, but I couldn't help but question everything. Until someone I could remember came and clarified things for me, I couldn't let myself even trust this guy.

"She'll be here in like an hour."

"Ok," I replied.

We sat in silence for a few minutes and then Joey passed me the remote to the TV in my hospital room. "If you wanna watch something," he mumbled.

"Thanks."

I flicked the channels, dead confused about what was on TV. There were episodes of shows I liked on, but I had no idea what was happening. Hell, I'd missed four years!

"I don't know," I sighed, flicking it off.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know what's going on in those shows. I can't remember."

"Oh right," Joey said.

I turned to look at him, sitting there awkwardly and watching my every move. "How long have we been married?" I asked him.

"Little less than two years," he smiled, twisting his wedding ring. I looked down at my hand but there weren't any rings there because of the cast on my left arm. "They're on the bedside table," Joey said, grabbing a small bag and passing it to me.

I poured the rings out of it, staring at them in my hand. There was a large diamond engagement ring and two bands with smaller diamonds on them.

"Three rings?" I asked, confused.

"The big one is the engagement ring," Joey said, "Obviously. The one with the bigger diamonds is your wedding band. And the third with the smaller diamonds is an eternity ring."

"Oh, wow. They're all beautiful. Very sparkly."

"They're pretty special," Joey said, leaning back in his seat.

In that moment I caught a hint of how hurt he was by the situation. I was terrified because I had no idea what had happened to me over the last few years, and he was clearly terrified because he was at risk of losing his wife over something that was completely out of his hands. I wanted to ask him how we went from cousins to marriage but I thought that could wait till later.

"Have you been here the whole time?" I asked, putting the rings back in the bag and setting them back on the bedside table.

"Pretty much. I've been into work a couple of times but it helps that I'm the boss. Apart from that I've been here"

"Boss?"

"Yeah I manage a club"

"And you don't go home?"

"Only when the hospital kicks me out," he smiled.

I don't know what I'd done earlier in my life to be so lucky, but I was starting to see just how special my relationship with Joey was. He was clearly madly in love with me.

Too bad I didn't remember him at all…

* * *

A light tap on the door pulled us out of our awkward conversation.

"Lauren your sister is here."

"Oh great," I said.

"I'm going to head home for a bit," Joey said, getting up, "Leave you two to talk. Do you want me to bring you anything?"

"I don't know what…"

"I could bring more comfortable pajamas or something," he shrugged, nodding at my hospital gown. "Clean underwear. Toiletries."

"Oh yeah," I replied, my cheeks going red at the thought of this stranger going through my underwear.

"I'll be back in like an hour," he said, kissing my head gently as he left.

I took a sharp intake of breath at his touch, surprised at how forward he was being.

"Sorry," he whispered, shaking his head and pushing out of the room without another look back.

My sister came in before the door even shut, "What's his deal?"

" Didn't the doctor tell you?" I frowned.

"Oh yeah, sorry" she said breezily, giving me a quick hug and then taking Joey's chair.

"Abi I have no idea what's going on," I sighed, "I'm terrified."

"You'll be fine."

"But…"

"Lauren, you're a fighter, you'll figure this out."

"I don't remember anything though!" I said, hitting my good hand on the bed beside me.

"Joey will help you."

"I don't know who he is though!"

"Yes you do," she said simply. She'd always been like this with me. Two years younger than me she seemed to have her head screwed on far more than I did. She was so incredibly well put together and she expected me to be the same. If she were in my position, she'd probably already have her memory back and be home all healed up.

"Abi, tell me what to do," I moaned.

"Trust him," she replied, "I know it seems scary that you're so connected to this guy and you have no recollection of him, but you married him for a reason. He'll help you."

"You promise?"

"Yeah," she smiled.

"Oh and forget about the cousin thing for the moment it will complicate things further, that will be explained in it's own time."

We sat and chatted for a while, Abi filling me in on life changes that I should know about.

"Mum and Dad and Oscar moved to America," she told me, "That's why they haven't come to see you."

"They did what?"

"Yeah mum and dad wanted to get away from the square. Right after you and Joey got married."

"Wow."

"Their house, it's really nice," Julia said, " I've been a few times. So have you guys."

"And you? What's going on in your life?" I asked.

"Same old," Abi shrugged, "Still with Jay. Still working as a vet, think I could be getting a promotion soon."

"Wow."

"It's been four years remember."

"Oh right."

I stared at her awkwardly, not sure if I should ask questions about myself. It was weird not knowing anything about what I'd been up to, particularly since Abi did.

"You still draw," Abi said, clearly reading my thoughts.

"Oh."

"Yeah, you've been secretly working on a masterpiece."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Abi said, " You've only showed me a tiny bit and I can't really remember how it looks. Joey has seen most of it."

"I'll have to find it," I said, "Maybe it'll help jog my memory." I sighed, just as a knock sounded on the door indicating Joey's return.

* * *

**I might not update tomorrow as I am working 8 till 6 and I will be getting home late but if I do it will be a late one.**

**R&R**


	3. Chapter 3

As Joey came back into the room, Abi stood up to leave. "I'll come see you again soon," she said, giving me a hug and whispering in my ear, "Trust him."

"Bye Abs."

"Everything ok?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, just got some family updates and that."

"Right," he said, sitting down with a sports bag at his feet, "I brought you some stuff."

"Thanks."

"You want me to help you to the en suite to get cleaned up and change into something more comfortable?" he asked.

I stared at him for a second, remembering what Abi had said about trusting him. "Yeah, sure. Thanks."  
Gently he helped me up from the bed, his arm around my back as I walked slowly into the en suite. I had hardly been out of bed since the accident and walking was proving very difficult. It didn't matter though, Joey was there supporting me.

"Here hang onto this bar and I'll grab your things," he said, leaving me for a second and getting the bag.

Inside was a shampoo bottle, toothbrush and toothpaste, and all sorts of pieces of clothing. I didn't recognize any of them, but then again, I wouldn't would I?

"I don't think I can do this on my own," I sighed, looking over at the shower. My knees were shaking and I found it hard just to stand holding the railing.

"I'll help."

I felt my cheeks blush red again at the thought of him helping me, but I brushed it aside. He was my husband, I'm sure he'd done a lot more than help me bathe before.

"You ok?" he asked.

"What?"

"Your face…"

"Oh," I mumbled, "Just awkward you know. I've never… showered with anyone before. In my memory at least…"

"Well you have, in my memory," Joey said with a coy smile. My cheeks burned again and I did my best to look anywhere but at him. "I'll just grab something to wrap up your cast," he added hastily, realizing he may have overstepped his boundaries a bit with that statement.

I watched him bustle around for a minute and then he helped me put a plastic bag around my cast so I wouldn't ruin it. Once it was secure he carefully undid the ties at the back of my hospital gown, undressing me slowly.

"These bruises are awful," he muttered.

"What?"

" Didn't you notice?" he asked me, switching on the shower and leading me in. " You've got dark bruises all along your shoulder and back."

"No wonder I'm sore," I replied.

"Jheeze Lauren!" he laughed, scrubbing my back gently.

He talked to me throughout the entire wash, taking care to wash my hair and get all the soap out. I was so distracted by what he was saying that I hardly noticed how awkward the situation was. Hardly.

"Let's get you in some clean clothes," Joey said as he switched off the shower and wrapped me in a scratchy white hospital towel.

"Thanks."

"Any preferences?"

"Something comfy," I said simply.

"Right."

He grabbed out some sweatpants and a t-shirt as well as some clean underwear, helping me slip into it and climb back in bed.

"That wasn't so bad," he said, passing me a hoodie to keep warm.

"It was fine, thanks for helping."

"No worries."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, not really sure what else to say. I had no idea where to start with him. Abi had said to trust him, but I didn't know anything about him. Or us.

"Umm…" he said looking over at me, "The doctor wanted me to talk to you about what happens when you're discharged. He said it might as soon as two days from now."

"Oh, right."

"He suggested you come stay at home. Our home," Joey explained, "It might help you get your memory back if you're in a place you spend a lot of time. I'm going to take another week or two off work to help you out so you won't be alone. If you're ok with that."

"You don't have to," I said.

"Lauren, I want to help you get better."

"What's our house like?" I asked, changing the subject slightly.

"We picked it together," he shrugged, "It's quiet, out of the way. There's plenty of space, you can have your own room no problem."

"Ok, I'll stay there. I can hardly imagine Abi being of much help, and with my Mum and Dad in America…"

"Yeah, that's what I figured," Joey smiled.

"I appreciate all your help," I told him.

"I'm your husband, that's what I'm here for."

"I know, but… it's really nice."

"You'd have done the same for me." He smiled at me again, a sweet smile. His eyes seemed so worried and I couldn't help but feel awful about things.

"Abi said I still draw," I said, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

"Yeah, and you teach," Aston said.

"Wait!" I said, startled, "What?!"

"You teach some kids a couple of days a week you really enjoy it" Joey replied.

"Oh okay, Abi never mentioned that."

"You just started a couple of months ago"

"Do my students know?!"

"Know what? That you haven't got your memory?" Joey asked.

"Well, any of it."

"I went through the list and called them all after the accident," he said, "I cancelled lessons indefinitely. I told them you'd be in touch when things were better. Most of them adore you, they sent cards."

"Oh, where?" I asked, looking around the room. There were a few bouquets of flowers and teddies around, and I hadn't even thought to see who they were from.

"Here," Joey said, passing me a stack.

I flicked through the cards, asking Joey to fill me in on who the people were.

"I don't like this," I muttered as I set the cards to the side.

"What?" Joey asked.

"Having no idea who those people are. Who you are. What's going on in the TV shows. All of it."

"I don't envy you," Joey said, reaching out and giving my hand a light squeeze, "But I'm here to help."

I smiled over at him, my eyes catching his, that terrified look still there.

When would I start to remember?

* * *

**I know I said the last chapter was it for tonight but this is defiantly it, I just wanted to post this part to conclude this section. **

**My next chapter will be up late tomorrow night as I am working a 10 hour shift 8-6 and won't be able to post till I about 10 - 10:30.**

**R&R**


	4. Chapter 4

"This is our house?" I asked three days later. I was finally let out of the hospital and headed home. The doctors couldn't do anything to help me anymore, so now it was all up to my brain to get my memories back.

"Yeah," Joey said as he pulled into the garage.

"You're kidding, it's huge!"

"That's exactly what you said when we went to see it for the first time as a potential home . See, you're acting like yourself and you don't even realize it," he said, clicking his seat belt off and pushing out of the driver's side of his car.

Quickly he jogged over to my side, helping me out and up to the door into the house. I was still a bit weak on my feet, my back sore from the bruises and my body tired from all the stress. Joey was being insanely helpful with everything, making sure I had what I needed and dotting over me. It was super weird to think this was my husband and really this was his job, because I still couldn't place him in my memories.

"Do you want the main bedroom or a different one?" he asked.

"Where are you sleeping?"

I watched him shrug his shoulders. "I can show you the options."

"I don't want to kick you out of the bed you usually sleep in," I said, "If that's what you're asking."

"I don't mind."

"No. I'll sleep in a spare room."

"Ok," he said, forcing a smile. I was sure he would have much preferred if I'd have said that I'd just stay with him in the main room. But that's not how things were right now. Not at all. "Let me show you around."  
Carefully he guided me around the house, pointing things out like where to find the toilets and what was in the kitchen.

"Guest rooms then," he said, helping me take the stairs, "You sure you don't mind being upstairs."

"I'll be better on my feet soon enough," I replied, taking his arm and climbing to the next floor slowly.

He showed me three different guest rooms, and then stopped at a door at the end of the hall. "This one is the smallest," he said, pushing it open. I gawped at what I saw before me, the white iron framed bed I'd had in my last memories was placed under a window overlooking the back garden.

"I know that bed," I said, "I want this room."

"You sure?" Joey asked, "It doesn't have an en suite or anything."

"I'll manage."

"Ok," he replied, taking my arm, "I sort of knew you'd pick that one because of the bed. Now let me show you your clothes and things."

He led me to the master bedroom, a huge room with a big high ceiling. In the middle of the room was a big fluffy looking bed. For a minute I regretted agreeing to let Joey stay in here, it looked so comfortable.

My eyes stared around the room for a few moments, taking in the sight before me. This was where I lived. It made me shiver to think.

"Is that…" I mumbled, shuffling over to a picture in a frame propped up on a large dressing table.

"Yeah our wedding," Joey said, staring at the picture.

It was weird to look at myself in the future.

I was grinning from ear to ear, my hand on Joey's chest and my rings sparkly. He was smiling directly at me, his eyes not even trained on the camera and his hands on my waist. We looked so happy.

"Wow."

"I know it sounds weird," Joey said, "But I really love you Lauren."

I didn't respond. To be honest I had no idea what to say. He was talking about emotions that I couldn't even think about. It was scary.

"Your clothes," Joey said, breaking the silence. I turned to see him pointing at a wardrobe. "In here, and over there too," he said, pointing to a large walk-in closet. "If you want I can move clothes into the other room for you, or you can just come get them from in here."

"I'll just come get them," I shrugged, "No worries."

"Ok," he said, "I'll move your toiletries into the bathroom across the hall from the room you'll be sleeping in."

"I can do it."

"Nah I'll do it later, let you rest."

"Thanks," I said, looking around again. It was so scary being in this place; my brain didn't know what to think. And nothing was jogging any sort of memory. I was stuck.

"You hungry?" Joey asked, "I'll order something."

"Sure," I replied, moving out of the room.

Carefully we went back downstairs and Joey ordered a pizza, leaving me to sit in a large lounge with a big screen TV and an impossibly squishy couch.

"Food should be here in half an hour," Joey said, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch and passing me a blanket.

I wrapped up tight and watched on as he flicked channels on the TV, again at a loss of words. My eyes traveled around the room, taking it all in and trying to find something familiar.

But there was nothing.

* * *

"I'm going to go to bed," I said quietly after about an hour and a half of sitting with Joey in front of the TV. It was still rather early, but the situation was so awkward. And my brain hurt.

"Sure, do you need help?" Joey asked.

"I'll be ok," I said, "Thanks."

"No worries," he said, smiling softly, "Just shout if you do need something."

"Ok... night."

"Night Lauren."

I carefully stood up from the sofa and shuffled my way through the house and up the stairs. Joey had put some of my things in the hall bathroom and as best I could with a broken arm, I got myself ready for bed.

When I was done I slipped into my old iron-framed bed, flicking out the bedside light and laying on my back. My eyes were trained on the ceiling and as hard as I tried I couldn't shut them. My brain was spinning at a million miles a minute, too much going on for it to shut down.

"What the hell happened?" I mumbled, twisting in bed and trying to find a comfortable position. It was hard with the cast and soon I was back on my back, my brain still going.

I tried to think about Joey, place him in my memory, but I couldn't do it. He seemed so sweet and genuine, and I had no idea why he would want to be with me. I was his cousin for god sake. My situation was messed up enough without thinking about that too. So I tried to do what Abi said and forget about it.

After almost two hours of trying to figure things out, I slipped out of bed. I wasn't tired at all and I thought a warm drink might help me out.

Quietly I wandered down the stairs. The lights were out so Joey must have gone to bed, and I could faintly hear the hum of a television coming from the master bedroom.

In the kitchen I opened cupboards until I found some mugs and then I made myself a tea, looking around to see if I could spot anything familiar. Nothing.

With my tea I did a little wander of the downstairs, looking at more pictures of Joey and I on the walls and some of the rest of our family.

I made it round to the back of the house, noticing a door I hadn't seen earlier. It was glass with some simple curtains on it. I wasn't sure if it lead outside or to another room, and for some reason I was nervous about opening the door.

"Go on," a voice whispered from behind me.

"Oh!" I said, startled by Joey's sudden appearance.

"I heard you shuffling around."

"I didn't mean to wake you," I said.

"I was still up, don't worry."

"Right."

"Go in," he repeated, taking my mug from my hands and setting it on a side table.

Gently I pushed the door open, another room in front of me. Its walls were blue, with the exception of one that had double doors on it like patio ones, this room seemed more comfortable. Like I could spend time out here all year round.

Joey flicked the light on so we could see a bit better, "This is sort of your room."

"I see that," I replied, spotting the easel perched right in the middle of the room. There was a shelf with some books on and a small desk with a laptop. A collection of plants lined the window sills, but they all looked in various stages of disarray.

"Haven't had a chance to water them," Joey said, "Been more worried about you."

"S'ok."

"You work in here," he explained as I made myself to the middle of the room. "Sometimes it's hard to get you to come out."

"Wait..." I said, "Is that..."

"You recognize the easel?" Joey asked with a hopeful look.

Without a word I wandered over to it, sitting down carefully on the stool next to it, and ran my fingers around the edge.

"Yeah. It's the one from the shop. I love this easel."

* * *

**I know I said about 10-10:30 but it is finally posted. :)**

**R&R**


	5. Chapter 5

"What is this doing here?" I asked Joey, my fingers still going around the rim of the easel.

"Long story," he sighed, taking the seat from my desk and sitting down next to me.

"You didn't buy it for me did you? God, it was priced at like 600 pounds!"

"Like I said, long story," Joey replied, "We both know you wouldn't have let me pay 600 pounds for an easel."

"Tell me the story," I prompted, "I want to know."

"Ok," Joey said, his fingers trailing along the easel too. "We'd been together for less than a year... Nine months, maybe a bit longer. It's kind of sad… the shopkeeper"

"Tony!"

"Yup. He uh, had a heart attack," Joey said.

"Oh no... He didn't..."

"Yeah, he passed away."

"That is sad," I said, "He wasn't that old."

"Nope. His son inherited the shop and all of the inventory. But he was living up in Scotland and didn't really want to keep the shop so he put everything up for sale at a knock down price."

"Wow," I sighed, surprised at this news.

"You were really upset by all of it. You hated that the easel was going to go to some unknown person. I remember when you found out you were a total mess about it, you went in a mood," Joey explained. "So I called up Tony's son and asked if I could buy the easel."

"Oh god..." I muttered, "You did pay a lot for it!"

"Only about half of it's worth," Joey said, "He was more than happy to get rid of it, and I don't think he had any idea of how much it was really worth."

"So you took advantage of him?"

"No!" Joey defended, "It was a fair deal. I had to move it and all that."

"Oh, so how did it end up here?" I asked.

"Well, I put it in my old house and hid it away for a while. I managed to keep it secret until our one year anniversary, how I managed it I will never know" he grinned, "You were so annoyed about how it had disappeared, and then on our anniversary I showed it to you."

"You didn't?" I asked. It was so sweet and romantic.

"I did," Joey said, "I showed you where I'd been hiding it and asked you to move in with me."

"And I said yes?"

"Yup," Joey grinned, "You were pretty much a mess that day... You were so happy to have the easel and to be moving in, but so annoyed at me for buying it behind your back."

"Sounds about right."

"It's a special easel for us," he shrugged, "I wanted the moment to be perfect."

"Why is it special for us?" I asked. I knew it was special to me, but us?

"The first time we went out as a couple somewhere, you showed me," he said, "We were walking down a London street past an arts and crafts shop and you showed me it and explained how you would go in the shop for your art supplies often and you spotted it one day. You then went on to explain your love for art and how it was your escape from life, and one day you said you would own it or something very similar. I looked at you, the expression on your face to the way you were talking, If there was ever any doubt that I didn't love you it was gone in that moment. I knew I had to find a way of buying it."

I felt my cheeks blush as I turned to look at him sitting there, a lost, sad look in his eyes.

"And me?" I asked, "When did I know I fell for you?"

"As you know we aren't a normal couple," Joey grinned slightly, "We had just slept together and you couldn't bear to look at me told me to leave, so that's what I did. I left the house and told my sister I was going. It was a bit later in the day when you saw me again and you said you had been looking all over for me and that you were scared about having these feelings for me but not as scared as the thought of losing me."

"Sweet."

"You're so not the kind of girl I would have gone for back then, but the second I saw you... I was gone. Everything changed."

"You know," I said lightly, "I've thought about this. I kept trying to think of what I could have possibly done to end up with you. Not meaning that in a bad way, was just very shocked."

"We have more in common than you'd think," Joey said, "On paper we're not a good match necessarily because we are family, but we work pretty well together. It's easy."

"Hmmm..." I mused, my fingers tracing the easel once again.

"Do you remember any of your drawings?" he asked, "You've got some you stored in folders and things, but you've been working on something and most of it was in your head?."

"My sister said that. To be honest I've got nothing."

"You'll remember," Joey said, slipping up from the chair. "It's late, you should get to bed."

"Yeah," I yawned, gingerly standing up myself.

Together the pair of us climbed the stairs and then stopped in the hallway between our rooms.

"I'm sorry I can't remember being the girl you love," I whispered.

"Don't..."

"I can see it in your eyes, this is killing you. I just wish that I could remember."

"You will," Joey said fiercely, "You'll remember. We'll be ok."

I nodded my head gently, my stomach in knots. I felt so awful about all of this because he clearly was struggling in the moment. "Good night," I smiled.

"Night Lauren," Joey said, opening the door to his room and almost inaudibly whispering, "Love you."

Again I didn't respond to this statement, because as horrible as it sounded, I felt nothing back.

* * *

**This is the first chapter of a possibly 3 today as I am working 9-6 all next week and I might not be able to post that often.**

**R&R**


	6. Chapter 6

"So our first kiss was in was in the hall of my house, when I was drunk?" I asked Joey as I sat across from him at the table in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, trying to get my questions answered.

"Yup."

"And we didn't do anything else?" I questioned, my eyebrows raised.

"Nope. I pushed you away, you were drunk."

"Yeah right," I scoffed, "I don't believe you."

"I'm serious," he said with a sincere smile.

"You're lying!"

"I'm not," he said.

"Hmm…" I mused, sipping my coffee.

"I know it seems crazy," Joey said, "But for me it was love at first sight. And when we got to know each other I think we both fell really hard and fast. We didn't rush into marriage or anything, but I think we both knew pretty early on that this was it."

I stared at him, not sure how much of what he was saying was exaggeration and how much was the truth.

"I'm going to go to the shops," Joey said standing up with his empty mug, " We've hardly got any food since I've spent all my time at the hospital, figured I'd stock us up for the next week or two at least."

"Sure."

"Any special requests?" he asked.

"Some chocolate?" I said,

"We might have some, you've always want some chocolate," Joey said, pulling a cupboard door open and standing on his tiptoes. "Nope… All out."

"It's ok."

"I'll get some," he said with a wink, "Restock the supply."

"You know what… Can I come?" I asked.

"Come to the shops?" Joey questioned.

"Do you mind? I feel pent up just lying around, I need to get out and start living like a normal person." It had only been three days since leaving the hospital but I was pretty much over being treated like an invalid.

"I don't mind," he said, "If you think you're up for it you can come along."

"Ok, give me ten minutes to put something on," I said, climbing out of my seat and heading up the stairs. I was still sore, but after a bit of walking around and some more rest I was feeling a lot better. Too bad my arm was still in a stupid cast.

I went into the master bedroom and pulled some clothes out, not really sure what I would normally wear out. I decided on a pair of jeans and a checked shirt, the left sleeve barely sliding on over my cast. I pulled on some boots and then wandered back downstairs.

"Can you help me with something?" I asked Joey.

"Sure."

"My hair, can you help me pull it back? It's driving me nuts down in my face and my fingers are too numb still to manage it myself. Can't really do it one handed."

"Course," Joey said, taking the hairbrush I passed him. Carefully he brushed through my long, straight brown hair a few times, pulling it back and tying it out of my face. It was weird, but as he did it I felt little faint flutters in my heart. My body was clearly reacting to his touch, and in that moment I started to believe that everything he was saying about us was true.

"There," he said, stepping back in front of me, "That ok?"

"Perfect," I smiled, not even bothering to look in a mirror. It was out of my face and that was all that really mattered.

I pulled on a thin coat and then followed him out to the car. We drove through our quiet neighborhood, my eyes locked on the other gorgeous homes around us. We really lived in a nice part of town, which surprised me because the last place I remember was my family home.

We pulled up at a big Tesco and climbed out, Joey grabbing a shopping trolley and leading the way into the store. I let him take charge with the food selection, since he was the one that was going to be doing most of the cooking while I was in a cast.

"Chocolate time," he said, pulling up to a display of chocolate bars, "What you want?"

"I have no idea," I said, looking at the choices. Some I recognized, others not so much.

"How about we pick a few?"

"Joey!" I laughed, watching him throw five different chocolate bars in the trolley.

"Whatever," he said, "I'm sure we'll eat it all."

"Probably."

We paid at the front and then pushed our way out of the store towards the car with our things in plastic bags. He quickly helped me into the car and then loaded things up, getting rid of the trolley and starting the car.

We drove in silence for the rest of the journey and then back in the house I resumed my seat at the kitchen table as Joey emptied out our shopping bags. Once he had finished he passed me a cup of tea I hadn't even asked for, and sat down across from me with his own cup of tea.

"You ok?" Joey asked.

"Yeah sorry," I replied, forcing a smile, "Just trying to remember."

"Don't force it," he said, "It'll just make you frustrated."

"But what if things don't come back to me?" I asked, "What if I'm stuck like this forever?"

"Then I'll have to make you fall in love with me all over again," he winked.

I sat and stared at him, a bit shocked by his cheekiness. I was in an emotional state and he was saying things like this?

"Sorry!" he said quickly, "I didn't mean to freak you out. Sometimes my brain just ignores the current situation…"

"It's ok," I muttered, staring into my cup of tea.

"Lauren, don't worry about your memory," Joey said quietly, "It's early days, no one expects it to be so easy."

"I'm just scared."

"We all are," he said, "Me, your parents, my sister your sister, our friends…"

"Our friends…" I sighed, "I forgot to ask you about them."

"What about them?"

"There were a lot of cards from names I didn't recognize."

"Oh, right," Joey said, "I'll plan something to get everyone over if you want," Joey said, "If you want them to know."

"They should know," I nodded, "If they're my friends they should know."

"How about early next week?" Joey asked, "Gives you some time to relax and wrap your head around things a bit more."

"Sure," I replied, "Maybe just dinner here? Drinks?"

"I'll sort something out," he said, standing up to rinse out his mug. I watched him move about the kitchen for a few minutes and then he excused himself for a bit to make some work calls. The whole while I sat at the table and tried to wrap my brain around everything that he'd told me, and really everything that had happened.

But there was one thing that I kept getting stuck on. The accident. I'd heard I was driving my car, but that was it. I wanted details. Maybe if I started from the most recent thing that had been lost from my memory and worked backwards?

That evening Joey cooked as I sat in silence and watched him, and then we ate quietly in the kitchen. When we were finished we started in on one of the bars of chocolate and then Joey washed the dishes.

"I'm going to go watch the football, if you want…" he said, nodding towards the front room. It was an invitation to join him, but I really wasn't interested in football.

"No thanks."

"You ok?"

"I want to know about the accident," I said quietly but firmly.

* * *

**Here's my next part :) one more part tonight hopefully **

**R&R**


	7. Chapter 7

_"I want to know about the accident," I said quietly but firmly._

* * *

"Oh."

"If you don't want to talk about it…"

"No we can," he sighed, sitting back down at the kitchen table.

"I don't want to make you upset," I told him, staring across the table as he fidgeted a bit.

"You need to know what happened," he said, "It's just hard. No one wants to relive the worst day of their life."

I sat and stared at him, tears pricking my eyes. Watching him try to explain what happened on that fateful day was one of the most heartbreaking things I'd ever seen. And I didn't even know him.

"Joey I don't want to upset you…"

"No, you need to hear this," he said, "It's important."

"Ok."

"Where do I start?" he sighed, running his hand over the top of his hair.

"How about I get you a beer?" I smirked.

He looked up, giving me a half-hearted smile, "Thanks."

I got up from the table and grabbed a beer out of the fridge, struggling to uncap it and then passing it to Joey. I got myself a glass of water and sat back down, my eyes trained on him as he played with the label on the bottle.

"Ok, so…" he started, still trying to find his words, "It started out like a normal day I guess. We woke up at the same time and got ready. You were supposed to teach lessons down the road… There's a community Centre and you teach a few kids during the week"

"That's cool."

"Things were a bit rushed," Joey said, "I couldn't find my car keys and when I finally found them I was running a little late for work so I just grabbed a slice of toast and ran out the door. Leaving you to get ready for the day."

"Sure," I said, sipping my water. So far this all sounded kind of normal. Like how a married couple would live their lives on any given day.

"Fast forward maybe an hour and a half," Joey said, "I was doing some paperwork at the club and my phone would not stop going off. It was an unknown number, and I never answer those but something told me told me to this time." Joey said, "When I did the woman on the other end of the phone said she was calling from the hospital it all started to fall together. I honestly have no idea what the nurse said to me, I was so shocked when she said you'd come in by ambulance that I tuned the rest of it out. Without a word to anyone I left. I got to the hospital maybe twenty minutes later and was told you were in emergency surgery."

"Surgery?" I asked, "The doctor never mentioned surgery!"

"Your arm," Joey said, "They put a pin in it."

"Oh yeah," I replied, remembering that it had been mentioned. I had to go get it out in a few weeks time.

"A doctor explained to me what happened and I nearly lost it then and there."

"What happened?"

"You were driving to the community Centre ," Joey said quietly, his eyes staring at the beer bottle in front of him, "There was a witness who explained everything. They said there was a lot of traffic and a cab cut out in front of a bus that was trying to change lanes. To avoid colliding with the cab the bus went back into its original lane not looking properly, right to the place that you'd just moved into. There was not much you could do… It was only minor damage to the car the front of it was pretty bashed and it needed a new windscreen, I got it fixed while you were in the hospital, but you broke your arm, and knocked your head pretty hard. Thank god you wore your seatbelt that's all I can say."

"Oh my god," I whispered. Not fully comprehending what he was saying.

"Everyone at the hospital said if you hadn't of been wearing it you could have died."

I felt my mouth go dry at this. No one had said anything about that to me. The thought of how close to death I'd been was absolutely and utterly terrifying.

"The next bits you know," Joey said "You were out for a few days and then woke up. No memory and a broken arm."

"Wow," I said, not realizing that my hands were shaking in my lap.

"It's hard to put into words how I felt," Joey continued, "At first I was in shock. They said you were in pretty bad shape, and you were under almost constant care that first twenty-four hours. I wasn't even allowed into the room with you so I stayed all night in the waiting room. I just sat and stared at the tiled floor, begging whatever fate that had turned against us to take care of you, to help you pull through."

I felt the tears start pricking my eyes at this, Joey already crying freely.

"The thought that I could lose you was unbearable. I refused to do anything but sit at the hospital until you woke up. I needed to see those pretty brown eyes of yours again."

"Joe…"

"I know you don't remember us, but you've got to know that I'd die for you Lauren. I'd rather it had been me than you… I really can't live without you. I love you so much…"

I watched on as he completely broke down, dropping his head into his hands. It was heartbreaking to watch, a grown man totally destroyed over something that was completely out of his control.  
"Joey," I whispered, trying to calm him. He didn't respond so nervously I slid off my chair over to the one round the side of the table, touching his back gently.

"I gambled with them," he whispered, "I told the fates that if I could just get you back I'd do anything… And they did this to us…"

I pushed a stray tear off my cheek, gently touching Joey's back again.

"I'm so sorry Lauren," he finally said, sitting up and catching my eye. He looked so hurt and lost, and honestly I had no idea what to do to help him.

"It's not your fault, none of this is your fault," I told him, "This was all just bad luck."

"Still…"

"If everything you're saying about us is true, we'll figure it out. We'll pull through."

"I hope you're right," Joey said, another sob coming on.

I put my hand on his shoulder and watched him try to compose himself, hoping that what I said was true.

"Can I hug you Lauren," he asked after a minute.

"Yeah…"

Carefully he wrapped me up in his arms, burying his head in my shoulder and continuing to cry unreservedly.

I allowed myself to melt into his warm embrace, my body comfortable and surprisingly at ease. Tentatively at first, I put a hand on his strong back, rubbing it gently in an effort to soothe him.

"It'll be ok," I whispered.

"I hope so," Joey said into my hair, "Because I miss my wife."

* * *

**That's all your getting for tonight, I might start on my next chapter as there is nothing on the TV so I have more of a chance of posting tomorrow.**

**R&R**


	8. Chapter 8

"I don't know why I asked you that, sorry…" I asked awkwardly, trying to wash a mug in the sink one handed.

"I mean it's natural to ask" Joey replied taking the sponge from my hand and pushing me to the side so he could do my washing up for me.

"It's awkward though."

"Not really, you were there I was there, you had just finished showing me some of your drawings, we tried to stop it but we couldn't we gave in. It happened on the same day you realised you fell for me… I told you about it. You remember?"

"Yeah I do, It's just awkward to ask someone you have no memory of what your first time with them was like" I said. "It's weird"

"Oh"

Joey fell quiet after that, shuffling out of the kitchen and up to the master bedroom. Ever since he had opened up about the crash he had become distant. I wasn't sure if it was embarrassment after his breakdown, or if he was hurt by the whole situation. Either way he could hardly look at me.

"Joey…" I sighed knocking on the bedroom door.

"Yeah?"

I pushed the door open to see him stood there topless, about to change into a t-shirt. He'd already changed from his jeans to a pair of jogging bottoms. I couldn't help but stare; he was my husband after all…

"Sorry" I muttered averting my eyes.

"It's fine"

"I just wanted to say I didn't mean to sound harsh." I said my eyes not leaving the wall.

"It's okay"

"It's not" I sighed." You're clearly hurting by all of this and I'm not helping at all. I should be more sensitive to your feelings."

"Lauren, listen to me I'll tell you when I'm upset." Joey said standing in front of me.

"Promise?"

"I promise" He replied smiling slightly and turned to look at the clock on the bedside table "Babe you've got a Skype call with your dad in 10 minutes."

"Oh right." I said following him out of the room, without another word about the previous awkward situation.

I don't know why I asked Joey about our first time… it was just something I'd been wondering about. I guess curiosity got the better of me.

Ignoring the awkwardness, Joey set me up with my laptop on the kitchen table, so I could call my dad. Thank god I'd put remember my password or we would have been really stuck.

"I'll leave you guys to chat" Joey said "I'll be back down in about an hour to start dinner."

"I can help" I offered.

"Not really" he replied with a shrug and a smile.

I laughed and got back to focusing on my laptop screen. I'd talked to my parents and Oscar a few times since the accident, so I knew how to work the laptop again.

The computer soon bleeped and I clicked on the accept button, smiling as my dad appeared on screen.

"Hi sweetheart"

"Hey dad"

"How you feeling?"

"Better" I sighed "But not so great"

"Still nothing?" He enquired.

"Nope, nothing." I replied "I'm trying to not let it frustrate me"

"Good, you've got to relax and let things come in their own time"

"I know but I feel bad, Joey has all these feelings for me and I have nothing. I don't feel any of them"

"He understands, I spoke to him. He gets how hard it is"

"I guess" I replied. "But it still really sucks"

"Listen he's a great guy, you've got to trust him."

"I think I do."

"He may have been my nephew before you two got married, but let me tell you if I didn't think he was the right match for you I wouldn't of let you marry him"

"Thanks dad" I replied smiling slightly.

"You guys will be fine." He said "Listen I've got to go, I'm picking your brother up from his friends"

"Okay, I'd love to speak to him soon"

"Next time" dad smiled. "Love you sweetheart"

"Love you too" I replied ending the call.

I didn't even realise till I had finished chatting with my dad that my cheeks were wet from my tears. This whole situation had me in a complete mess.

"You okay?" Joey asked coming back into the room.

"Fine"

"You sure?"

"How much of that did you listen to?" I asked.

"What? none!"

"Yeah right. I said shutting my laptop.

"Ok, most of it."

"And?"

"And what?" Joey asked.

"Have you not got anything to say?"

"Nope" he replied simply.

I sat at the table and watched Joey cook a meal for us, my head was full of questions about us. There were a lot of things I wanted to know about us. When we moved in together, when we got engaged, when we got married, when we got this house… all sorts of questions.

There was still a lot to figure out, but I was finally starting to trust the guy I once called my husband.

* * *

**First of all I just want to say sorry for lack of updates but I have been working crazy hours, I will get home have my tea and a shower then fall into bed and start it all over again the next day so I hope you understand why the lack of updates. **

**Good news is my work schedule should be calming down by the end of next eek I think so i can post a bit more.**

**Also sorry nothing really happens in this chapter and it's also my shortest.**

**R&R**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Lauren doesn't remember Fatboy, Tamwar and Poppy **

* * *

"Lauren" Joey shouted through the house.

"Art room"

I heard him walking about the house, soon enough he was at the art room door staring down at me "What are you doing?"

"Trying to trigger something" I said. "I thought looking through some of my old drawings might help my memory."

"Well you've made a total mess" Joey said looking around. He was right I had put every piece of art I could find on the floor, and was sorting through them one by one.

"The one handed thing isn't really helping"

"I could have helped"

"You had things to do" I shrugged. "This was good. It was something for me to do instead of lying around moping about not being able to remember."

"I suppose"

"You really should think about going back to work" I said to him as I held my hand out so he could help me off the floor. "I don't like keeping you from your job"

"I'm here to help you"

"Yeah, but I can manage"

"Lauren…" Joey sighed.

"You could just do a couple of hours a day?"

"Babe…"

"I know you want to help me, but not living our normal life is not going to do much. We need to find a way to fall back into our old routine."

"I guess"

"For me?" I said plastering on a smile, I'd figured out over the last few days that I could usually get what I wanted if I did this, which meant my husband was totally whipped.

"Fine." Joey sighed. "I'll figure something out"

"Thank you!"

"Now you need to go change" he said "I was looking for you to tell you people should be here in half an hour"

"Oh right" I said heading towards the stairs.

"Are you sure about tonight?"

"They're my friends" I said, "I want to meet them."

I went upstairs and found a top and a pair of jeans, changing out of my sweats as Joey was busy in the kitchen. He had invited a few close friends over for a drink and something to eat. To be honest I was nervous. I had no idea who these people were.

The doorbell went about 25 minutes later and I could hear some voices downstairs so I wandered down, standing in the living room as I watched Joey greet two guys and a girl.

"Lauren come here" Joey said beckoning me over.

"Hi"

"These are our friends" He said pointing to the three people in our living room "Fatboy, Poppy and Tamwar."

"Hi" I repeated trying to memorize their names.

"You guys want a drink?" Joey asked.

"Please" the boys said, following him into the kitchen, leaving me with Poppy.

"How are you feeling?" Poppy asked.

"Better"

"I'm sorry to hear about the memory thing"

"It's strange" I responded. "In my head I'm a 18 year old who was doing nothing with her life. But I'm not that girl anymore."

"Things have changed for you," Poppy said taking a seat on the sofa. "But you're still that girl"

"I guess…"

The group of us sat in the living room and chatted for a while. I mostly sat back and listened trying to take everything in.

The doorbell went off again about half an hour later. I turned to look at Joey with a quizzical look. "The other girls"

"Oh" I said getting up and following him to the door.

He swung open the door and I felt my stomach go warm for a second, only because the two girls on the front step were two that I recognized.

"Whitney!" I said, giving her a tight hug.

"Lauren Branning, what trouble have you gotten yourself into?" she laughed hugging me back.

I took a step back and smiled awkwardly at the other girl. "Hi Lucy"

"Hey Lauren" she said, coming towards me for a hug. I let her but I wasn't entirely comfortable with it.

"The boys and Poppy are in the living room" Joey said. "Can we get you a drink?"

"Wine?" The girls chorused.

"Done" Joey said with a laugh.

I followed him to the kitchen, watching him pour out the wine. Oh how I wished I could have a glass.

"I'm not friends with Lucy."

"Yes you are," Joey said.

"She wrecked some of my drawings"

"Yeah and you're over that now"

"No I'm not"

"You are" he said "You've put your differences aside and are friends now"

"I don't believe you"

"Why would she be here if I was lying?"

"I don't know…" I mumbled.

"Lauren just trust me" Joey said. "You've moved on from things"

"If you say so"

"Just speak to her! she will be more than willing to explain"

"Ok" I said, wandering back into the living room with one of the wine glasses. I passed it to Lucy then sat back down, taking in everything again.

"So no more drawing?" Whitney asked.

"Not now" I shrugged. "The arm doesn't help"

"It can't be that bad"

"It makes my fingers numb, I've got two more weeks with it minimum" I replied.

"So not long"

"Hopefully" I sighed looking around the room. I kept catching Lucy's eye and I could tell she wanted to talk.

"I'm just going to get some water" I said standing up.

I knew she would follow me and sure enough we were alone in the kitchen.

"I know this must seem weird to you"

"You wrecked my art!" I said.

"I know. I'm sorry"

"Why?"

"Because you're amazing Lauren" she said. "I've always envied your natural talent to create; I'm not like that I need help. And I've never managed to start something from scratch everything I've had has been given to me and you done that and I didn't like it. Simple as that."

"Wow, ok."

"I know this seems weird to you, but we're cool now. Joey told me this would happen, he said to be careful and not upset you. I don't want to. I want to be your friend and help you through this the best I can."

"Thanks" I sighed, leaning against the counter. I was starting to feel exhausted by all of this.

"Are you ok?" she asked seriously.

"No"

"I didn't think so"

"Lucy I'm so lost." I said. "I'm trying so hard to remember but it's not coming at all. I have no idea what to do"

"Take care of you Lauren. I know this sounds crazy, but don't worry about anyone else right now, not even Joey."

"He's my husband though" I sighed.

"Yeah but he won't be if you don't remember him. You can't stress yourself trying to be someone you're not. Just, take a step back and start for the beginning. You'll figure everything out."

"And what about him?" I asked.

"He'll understand"

I stared at him for a minute then nodded my head. I was starting to feel horrible about everything, again. There was nothing I could do to make things better short of remembering myself. And that was proving difficult. Maybe Lucy was right, maybe I needed to only worry about me?

But I didn't want to hurt Joey.

"Can you tell the others I'm not feeling well and have went to bed?" I asked

"Of course" Lucy smiled, grabbing me in for another hug. "My number is in your phone, call if you want to talk"

"Thanks"

"We're pulling for you Lauren. All of us."

I smiled at her, heading to the stairs and up to my room where I collapsed on my bed. Bursting into tears.

I hated this and I didn't know what to do anymore.

* * *

Ten minutes later I heard a knock at the door of my room. I was fully expecting it, I knew Joey would come and check up on me.

"Yeah?" I sniffed as he pushed it open.

"You ok?" he asked, leaning on the frame and looking in on me.

"No"

"Lauren, what's going on?" he asked coming to sit on the edge of the bed.

I pushed myself into a sitting position, whipping my face with the back of my hand. "I'm exhausted" I said.

"So rest"

"Not like that." I replied "I'm tired of this whole situation, I just want it to go away. But I don't know what to do."

"Oh"

"I'm exhausted and frustrated and so lost right now"

"You've got me" Joey said.

"I don't know who you are!" I cried out. Hitting the bed with my hand. "Don't you get it!"

"Sorry I…"

"Joey I know you are trying to help me , that you want to help me. And I appreciate that. But in my head your just some boy I have never met"

I saw his face fall at that, his eyes looking at the bed spread.

"I didn't mean it like that" I sighed. "I'm learning to trust you and I don't want to hurt you. But this whole situation is hard."

"I know"

"The people that were over were supposed to be my friends , but I hardly knew any of them and Lucy… The last I remember we were sworn enemies!" I said

"You're ok now" Joey mumbled.

"Maybe we are but I'm not living in the now. I was sitting in a room full of people living in the now, and I'm back in 2011 or whenever it is. It's hard."

"What can I do to help you?" Joey asked. "I'll do anything"

"Nothing." I said "You've done so much, there's nothing you can do"

"Lauren…"

"I need you to go back and live a normal life"

"My normal life is with you though" he replied looking up to catch my eyes.

"I mean like work and stuff. I don't want to holding you back from things, I know you want to help me but you are letting people down."

"Your more important" Joey mumbled.

"Joe…"

"No I get what you're saying, but you've got to understand I can't lose you."

I closed my eyes and let out a breath at this. How did I find someone who loved me so unconditionally? He was willing to give almost everything up to be with a girl who couldn't even remember him. It was madness.

A silence fell as more tears started to fall down my face. I didn't get it I had no feelings for him, but he was so in love with me.

"Tell me what you're thinking" Joey whispered.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this" I sighed.

"Do what?"

"All of it. Live this life"

"Don't say that." He pleaded.

"How long can I live in this haze, some other girls life?"

"She's you!" Joey said.

"I don't know her" I replied shaking my head.

"Lauren you've got to remember" Joey said. "You will, I promise!"

"And how do you know that?" I challenged. "How do you know things will fall into place? You have no idea what this is like"

"I know I don't" Joey said. "But I believe in you, I believe in us."

"What if I don't remember?" I asked. "What if a year goes by and I'm still in the same place?"

"It won't happen"

"What if it does?" I challenged. "It's not going to be good for me to struggle through this life from day to day. And it's going to be awful for you to have to deal with me."

"We'll figure it out…"

"No Joey. At some point, if these memories don't come back, I've got to start from scratch. Start a new life."

"So you'd leave me?" he asked, his eyes welling up with tears.

"Why would you want to be married to a girl that doesn't know you? That doesn't have any feelings for you?"

"Because I remember the past. I remember how perfect life was" he said, "I could never find that with someone else. Never."

"Wouldn't you want to try?"

"No"

"Joey" I sighed. "Be real"

"I am being real Lauren. I'd rather live alone and miserable for the rest of my life than be with someone other than you."

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"I couldn't do it"

I sat and stared at him for a minute, not sure what to say anymore. Here it was again, this undying love. I dint feel it, but as I watched him breakdown in front of me for the second time I knew he did.

"I'm going to go to bed" Joey sighed, getting up and leaving without another word.

I could hear him shuffling around and then the door to the master bedroom slam shut loudly. I wasn't sure if he was angry or upset by what I'd said, and honestly I want trying to hurt him. I was just trying to be truthful, I didn't know if it would work for us to live like this if my memory never came back.

Sighing to myself I pulled the duvet over my head and let the tears fall, thinking everything over. I couldn't hold him back for the rest of his life, it want right. He needed to have a chance to live happily and in love. And I want sure if that chance would be with me.

And so I made a decision: if I didn't begin to get my memory back in one month I would disappear for his life. Forever.

* * *

**I'm back I've finally finished my 3 weeks of 69+ hours each week at work. I am now back to my normal hours at work so will be able to post a bit more :)**

**R&R**


	10. Chapter 10

For the next two weeks Joey and I lived like we were both walking on eggshells. He seemed pretty down by what I had said to him, and he'd certainly taken a step back from how he had been. He still cooked for me, and made sure I had everything I needed, but he left me alone a lot more.

I felt bad. I could tell I had hurt him by what I'd said, and I really didn't mean to. But I stood by it. If I wasn't going to remember there being an 'us' what use was it trying to force it when he could start over and be happy with someone else? I thought I was doing him a favour.

"Ready for the hospital" he asked me quietly as we both sat in the kitchen and had our breakfast.

"Yeah I really hope they take this stupid thing off."

"They should do"

"I just don't want them to say I need it on for another few weeks," I sighed.

"You'll be fine" Joey said, forcing a smile.

I watched him get up and go and rinse his cereal bowl, and then he shuffled out of the room, I felt awful. He clearly wasn't happy, and even though he went back to work at about 75% he never smiled.

All because of me.

I ran up the stairs and changed into something to go out in, and then I met Joey in the hall where we went out to his car.

We drove to the hospital in silence, and then we went in and took a seat in the waiting area.

Joey had his head leant against the wall behind him, his eyes on the ceiling. He looked miserable.

"You ok?" I asked him.

"No"

"Oh" I said "What's wrong?"

"Everything. Life. I'm sick of this"

"Joe…" I sighed.

"I know there is nothing you can do about it, but it's a cruel joke. I just want my wife back! You don't remember me, or our house or anything about us! It fucking sucks!"

"I'm sorry" I whispered, "I'm doing my best"

"I know…" he replied. "I'm not blaming you. I'm just hitting my boiling point" he said turning to look at me. His eyes were red and I could tell he was trying to blink tears away.

"Lauren Branning?" a voice called out. I looked up to see the doctor stood there with a clipboard.

"You want me to come?" Joey muttered.

"Why don't you take some time to cool down?" I asked. "They've got to take the pin out so they will probably kick you out anyways. I'll have someone bring you in when it's over? Maybe you can have a coffee or something?"

"Sure ok" he sighed.

I smiled at him faintly and followed the doctor.

The cast came off first, and then I was taken for an x-ray to make sure everything had healed.

"Looks good to me" said the doctor. "Let's get the pin out.

* * *

"Hey" I sighed. Sitting up in the recovery bed. Joey was sat in the chair next to me.

"You ok?" he questioned.

"Yep!" I grinned, "No more cast"

"Doctor wants you in a soft cast for a few days" Joey frowned. "He told me."

"Damn"

"You can take it off to have a shower and stuff"

"I guess" I sighed.

"I'll go grab someone to check on you"

A nurse came in and checked me over, sating I could leave in half an hour. They had put me under, but not with anything strong, so I was able to go home that afternoon.

Once at home Joey helped me to the sofa where I laid and watched TV. The anesthesia was making me a bit ill so I dint want to push things.

"Joe!" I called, only for him to come rushing into the room.

"Yeah?"

"You should go out tonight, it's Friday."

"Nah I want to make sure you're ok"

"I'll be fine" I said. "You've pretty much not had a night out since my accident. Why don't you go nd enjoy yourself instead of slouching around here?"

"I don't really want to" he shrugged.

"I think it might help."

"Lauren, please…"

"Just a few drinks with the boys or something?" I asked. "I really don't want you pent up here while I'm sleeping on the sofa"

He stared at me for a moment then nodded his head, leaving the room with his phone. Ten minutes later he had plans sorted to meet Fatboy for a drink or two.

"You sure about this?" he worried as he pulled on his coat.

"Positive. You need to get out."

"You'll call if you need anything? And I mean anything! Even if it's just help going to the toilet or something"

"Joe…" I said with a stern look" "I'll be fine"

"Ok, ok" he said. "See you in the morning"

"Night…" I yawned, lying back on the sofa, I looked back at the TV but within minutes I was asleep.

* * *

I snuffled awake a few hours later, soft voices catching my attention immediately.

"Joey!" I called.

Not ten seconds later he was standing in front of me.

"What are you doing?" I asked. "I told you to go out"

"I know" He sighed. "But I couldn't even get the car out f the garage"

"Excuse me?!"

"I was too worried about you" he shrugged. "You just had your cast off and had that little operation. I didn't want to leave you alone."

"I said I'd be fine."

"I know." He said. Looking like a scolded child. "But I couldn't do it. So I called Fatboy and told him to pick up some drinks and come here instead. I half did what you told me to.."

"Do you always do things like this?" I demanded.

"Like what?"

"Undermine me or something"

"I'm not!" he defended.

"You're doing something…"

"I'm just worried" he sighed. "And I love you so much. I can't bring myself to just leave you here alone. I promised I'd never leave you"

"This isn't leaving me!" I laughed. "This is you going and acting like a sane person for a few hours!"

"You think I'm crazy?" Joey said.

"I don't know what you are, but it scares me how much you seem to care about me"

"Well your right" he said. "I'm crazy. Crazy in love with you. So excuse me if I do stuff like this. I can't help myself!"

I caught his eyes as he stood there, his chest heaving slightly. He had a fierce look I his eyes as he stared at me, and I knew what he was saying was one hundred percent the truth.

"Joe…" I sighed.

"Why don't you go to bed" he asked, changing the subject. "I'll help you up"

I let him help me off the sofa, carefully he left me up the stairs and to my room. Helping me crawl under the duvet.

"I don't think this is healthy" I told him. "You being like this"

"Probably not"

"Don't you want to be in a normal relationship? Have a normal life?"

"Nothing about us has ever been normal" Joey sighed. "Listen I really don't want to talk about this"

"Fine sorry"

"I promised I'd never leave you and I don't intend on breaking that promise, memory or not" Joey said giving me a faint smile, and shuffling out of the room.

"What if I leave you?" I muttered. Only he didn't hear me. And I wasn't sure if I meant it.

Because now I knew if I left… it would kill him.

* * *

**I know I said I would post regularly but we are so short staffed at work I'm working crazy overtime hours again. I'm doing 10 hours a day all this week, so I'm gonna start my next part tonight but it might not be up till next Saturday at the latest. **


	11. Chapter 11

The smell of bacon awoke me the next morning, and pulling on a dressing gown I stumbled down the stairs.

"What's this?" I asked Joey. He had pretty much destroyed the kitchen, all sorts of breakfast foods cooking.

"Have a seat" he said pointing to the kitchen table with a spatula.

I did what I was told, watching him pour a cup of coffee and deliver it to me.

"Joe?"

"Two minutes" he said going back to the cooker.

Quickly he served the foods onto the plates and then laid it out onto the table, sitting across from me.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"This is an 'I'm sorry' breakfast" he said.

"I'm sorry? For what?"

"I'm smothering you I can tell" he replied serving food onto my plate "I didn't mean to overwhelm you or anything"

"You're not"

"I am. I know I am. It's just… I've got all these feelings for you that I can't just lock away. So when I'm with you I do feel the need to take care of you. And all of that"

"You don't have to apologize for it though" I said.

"I do, because I can tell I'm getting on your nerves. Like last night."

"I'm sorry too" I sighed. "I don't mean to say the things that hurt you."

"You aren't."

"Oh I am." I replied. "I think I'm just scared that I'm never going to get my memories back. I don't want to trap you in this world forever."

"I want to be here." Joey said.

"I don't think you do" I said, "I think eventually you'd grow tired of it. We both saw how you were at the doctors yesterday."

"I guess… but it's not that easy for me"

"I think that's where the disconnect is" I replied taking some more bacon. "In my mind it doesn't make sense that you'd want to live like this"

"Because you don't remember what the love between us is like?" Joey asked.

"Exactly"

"So what do we do?"

"I don't know" I shrugged. "I've been digging through all of my things while you've been at work. There's got to be something that will trigger my memory."

"Definitely "

"And if there isn't?" I asked.

"We'll come to that when we get to it" Joey replied.

"My goal isn't to ruin your life" I told him. "I'm trying to help you out"

"I know" he sighed. "I just hate the thought of losing you, especially because at the end of the day I could of done to make this better"

"Just think about what I said yeah?" I asked. "I'm not going to do anything now, but further down the road if things don't change…"

"Yeah ok I'll think about it" Joey mumbled getting up from the table quickly.

* * *

An hour later I was sat in the art room, trying to pick through some doodles that were on some bits of paper. My hand was still pretty numb, but I was forcing myself to at least try.

"Lauren" Joey said from the door of the art room.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going to work Whitney called and asked if you'd be interested in a late lunch. You don't mind if she takes you out do you?"

"No that would be great" I said.

"Cool she'll be here in about 2 hours" Joey said "Lucy to I think"

"Great thanks. Have fun at work"

"I'll try" Joey said. "Good luck with the art"

I smiled faintly at him, turning back to my drawings.

For the next two hours I went through different types of drawings, trying to find a hint of my past life… just something.

By the time Whitney arrived to pick me up I wasn't any further along than I'd been, frustration starting to get the better of me.

"Lucy's going to meet us" Whitney said as I climbed into the car next to her.

"Cool"

We drove in silence then walked into the café, Lucy already sitting at a table. For the next half an hour we chatted about school and memories I did have. It was oddly relaxing to remember things.

"How's Joey?" Lucy asked.

"I don't think he's particularly loving the situation" I replied.

"No, I can't imagine he'd enjoy it."

"I feel bad." I said. "I don't know what to do to help him. He's doing all sorts of things to help me but I can't reciprocate because when it comes down to it, he doesn't exist in my memory."

"That's got to be hard for him" Whitney said.

"I told him I don't know how much longer I can stay with him"

"What do you mean?" Lucy asked.

"I'm not remembering anything" I said "How long do I make him live with and take care of an invalid girl who has no idea who he is?"

"You aren't an invalid!" Whitney laughed.

"But I mean, he keeps expecting me to wake up and remember him. But I don't. What if I just leave, go somewhere start a fresh. Won't it give him a chance to start a fresh too?" I asked "To have a happier life?"

"I don't think he want's that" Lucy said, looking over at Whitney who shook her head.

"It's not an ideal way of doing this, I agree, but pretty soon something has to happen."

"Lauren" Whitney said. "I'm not going to stop you from taking a step back from Joey. But just be sure it's the only thing you can do. That it's the last resort."

"Yeah" I said nodding my head gently. "I get that"

"You loved him so much" Lucy said. "You two were inseparable"

"She's right I don't want you to leave, get your memory back, then find you've lost him forever." Whitney added.

"I've thought about it" I said.

"Just be careful"

I nodded my head, changing the subject. I was hard talking about Joey because I didn't know where my head was.

He was a great guy. A really sweet and caring guy, I was sure I could learn to love him again. Positive.

But I was still scared of forcing something that wasn't real, the pair of us unhappy for the rest of our life's

I didn't know what to do.

* * *

"What's your plan for today?" Joey asked.

"Going to lunch with Uncle Jack"

"Sorry what?"

"Lunch with Jack" I shrugged.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? You aren't on very good terms with him?"

"Abi is coming," I said "She said it might not be a bad thing"

"I guess him making you angry might help you remember what it feels like… could trigger a memory."

"I'm really not on that bad a terms with him?" I frowned.

"Yeah…" Joey sighed. "last couple of years have been rough between you. He almost didn't come to the wedding. Just be careful ok?"

"I will" I said with a soft nod.

"It was not six weeks after I'd woken up from my accident and there was no hint of a memory in my mind. Nothing. I'd gone through almost all of my work and dug around in every drawer, shelf and cupboard in the house. But still… I was stuck.

I waved joey off to work and then got myself ready for the day, Abi picking me up for lunch with our Uncle.

"He knows about the accident right?"

"Yeah, I've spoken to him" Abi said I told him to be nice"

"Thanks"

We pulled up at a restaurant and Abi passed her keys to the valet, it was a rather posh place and I wasn't particularly looking forward to things.

"Hi Lauren" Our Uncle said to me as we sat down. Joey and Abi had both said I was on bad terms with him, but he seemed perfectly friendly.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine, kind of tired about not having all my memories but…"

"It's very unfortunate" my Uncle said, taking a sip of his water. "How are things at home?"

"Well enough." I shrugged. "It's awkward"

"And Joey is dealing with things aright?"

"I think he's tired of the situation" I shrugged, "I know I am"

"And have you thought about doing something about that?" my Uncle asked. I caught Abi's eye as the question was asked. She knew how I was feeling about the situation.

"Yeah"

"And what are you thinking?"

"Maybe taking a step back, starting over?" I said. "I don't want to hurt Joey though. I think he'd be devastated if I left"

"He'd get over it" My Uncle said. "You know I could sort out a divorce in no time"

"A divorce?" I asked.

"You're married to him. If you left you'd probably want to make it official"

"Oh right. I guess I never thought of it that way"

"Joey's a strong boy. He'll get over it" my Uncle said.

"Abi, what do you think?" I asked.

"I don't know, this is your decision."

"What if I get my memory back and regret doing something like that?" I questioned.

"You've got to act in the right now" my Uncle said. "You can't think about how you felt a few months ago, because you might never have those feelings again."

"Right."

"Think about it, and if you want I can sort something out." My Uncle said. "Have it all done in a week"

"A week?" I asked.

"You forgot who your Uncle is."

I watched as he excused himself to the bathroom. "Abi what do you think?" I asked.

"I don't know Lauren. I really don't"

"I don't either" I sighed. "In a way it sounds like a good idea. Start from scratch"

"You think?"

"I'm tired of trying to search for clues and trigger my memories. Maybe it would be best if I go away and sort my life out."

"Go where?" Abi asked.

"Maybe I'll go stay with mum, dad and Oscar for a bit?" I said, "Sort something out for myself in America"

"And what about Joey?" Abi asked.

"It'll hurt him at first." I replied. "But hopefully he will understand over time that I'm just trying to help him. Maybe I could learn to love him, but maybe not. I'd rather he had a shot to live a happier life."

"Well then I think you should do it" Abi said. "You can stay with me until everything is sorted, It'll be better than staying with Uncle Jack."

"Thanks" I sighed.

"Everything is going to be ok" she replied. "Life will sort it's self out, for all of us."

"I hope so."

When our Uncle came back I took a deep breath and smiled at him "I'll do it."

"You'll divorce him?"

"Yeah. It'll be better for him in the long run"

"And for you" Uncle Jack said.

"Right"

We had our meal but I didn't feel like talking much anymore. I was scared I was making a really terrible decision.

* * *

That night I cooked dinner for Joey, nervous about how I was going to break things to him. It wasn't really like I was dumping him, because in my mind we weren't really together. But it was, because he clearly loved me.

When he got home I heard him go up to his room, and then come into the kitchen. I suddenly became very nervous.

"What's this?" he asked quietly.

"An 'I'm sorry' dinner" I said, referring to the breakfast he'd made me a few weeks earlier.

"I know"

"Jack called?" I asked.

"My lawyer"

"Oh"

"Lauren, you don't have to do this" he sighed."

"I think I do" I said. "We're not making any progress. I'm just holding you back"

"You're going to break my heart"

"I did the second I crashed my car" I said.

"Your suitcase is by the door, where are you going?"

"To stay with Abi until things get sorted out"

"And then what?" he asked.

"No idea."

"You're positive about this?" Joey asked.

"Yeah" I said. "I can't fuck with your life anymore"

"Lauren.."

"I'm sure I loved you before. I wouldn't have married you if I didn't… But I don't remember that. And I really don't want you living in the past hoping that someday I'll remember."

"You will…"

"Every day I don't remember my chances of remembering anything get smaller. I'm starting to think I won't."

My phone started buzzing in my hand as I stood awkwardly with Joey.

"Abi here?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'll be in touch about everything."

"Ok"

"It's time to move on Joey" I said.

" I can't. I'll always wait for you."

"Don't"

I gave him a sad smile and then looked down at my phone. Abi was calling again.

"Thanks for everything" I said.

"Yeah"

"Bye"

Joey didn't respond. He just stood and stared at me, tears welling up in his eyes. Just looking at him I was starting to regret my decision, but I couldn't take it back now. And it did seem like the right thing to do.

As I pulled the front door hut behind me I heard a loud crash, the sound of broken dishes behind me. Without even looking I knew that Joey had thrown the meal I'd made him clear across the kitchen.

So much for trying to ease the pain a bit…

* * *

**I have finally updated sorry it has taken so long between my work and a chest infection I have not had a great week.**

**Thank you for sticking by me and waiting for my updates :)**

**PS... Sorry that I made Jack a bit of a nasty person and about the ending of the chapter (Laura I'm waiting for the abuse) **

**Until next time...**

**R&R**


	12. Chapter 12

I spent the next few days lying around Abi's flat feeling sorry for myself. I was convinced I was making the right decision, but I couldn't help but feel terrible about it. The way Joey had reacted to the situation had tugged at my heartstrings a bit more than I expected it would. He was beyond devastated. And it was all my fault.

"I'm going to Skype dad" I told Abi was we finished up dinner.

"Sounds good"

I grabbed my laptop and set up the call, sitting crossed legged on my bed in Abi's spare room while I waited for my dad to sign on.

"Hey sweetheart!" he smiled, "Guess who's with me?"

"Who?"

A familiar blonde leaned in to shot, "Hey Lauren, sweetheart"

"Mum!" I grinned, waving wildly, "How are you guys?"

"Great! A more important question, how are you doing?" she asked.

I let out a deep sigh, running my hand through my hair. "Not so great"

"Why? What's going on?" my dad asked.

"No memories yet. And I think I might be doing the wrong thing."

"What's that?"

"Joey and I are getting a divorce" I said "I think it will be good for him to not be held back by me, but I have this bad feeling about it."

"Oh honey, why would you do that?" mum asked. "I've never seen two people more in love."

"I can't remember him" I said, "and I feel like I'm ruining his life."

"You're not!"

"I feel like I am. And Uncle Jack said that he could sort it out in a week, so I agreed. I think I'm going to sort this out and then go away and start my life again since my memories are lost."

"All you're doing is running away from your life" he said.

"Maybe I want to" I said, "Maybe I'm tired of trying to remember my past and I'm ready to start my future. Memories or not."

"I just think you really need to be positive this is what you want." Mum said. "Joey would do anything for you. I don't think he feels like you are ruining his life at all."

"He might not say it, but he's over this. He told me he wants his wife back. But in my head I'm not her!" I said.

"Lauren…" Mum sighed. "I just don't want you to get your memory back and have all sorts of regrets."

"Would I?"

"Yes."

I sighed deeply, pushing my hair out of my face. "See this is where I feel awful. I don't know myself anymore. I don't know how this will affect the rest of my life."

"And what does Joey think?" my dad asked.

"He's upset. He threw a plate of food. But he's not stopping me."

"He wouldn't." Mum said "He'd bend over backwards to do what you wanted, even if it hurt him."

"That's my problem. I don't want to hurt him I'd much rather erase myself from his life, just like he was sort of erased from mine."

"Lauren…"

"I'm serious about this. The decision is made." I said. "I don't think anything can change my mind."

"Ok, fine," My dad said. "But will you do me one thing. Will you speak to him about this one more time, before signing those papers?"

"Dad…"

"Lauren, I know it seems unpleasant and you'd probably rather just run from all of this. But you need to."

"Fine" I said, "I'll call him later this week."

"Do it in person"

"Dad!"

"Please, Jack is going to push this to be done quickly, I want you to be positive that you're ok with your decision."

We spoke for a few more minutes, but it was tense. I was pretty sure that my parents were not pleased with what I was doing, but they couldn't do anything to stop me. And I think that they hated that Uncle Jack was behind it.

After I hung up with my dad I laid back in bed, thinking everything over again. Was I doing the right thing?

Abi came in half an hour later with a cup of hot chocolate and a frown on her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"You seem of."

"I am off" I said.

"It just sort of bothers me that you aren't even trying."

"Excuse me?" I said.

"You're not even trying to remember." She replied. "If it were me I'd be doing everything I could to trigger my memories back."

"I have!" I defended.

"Not really,"

"Yes! I dug through all my stuff." I said "I looked at every piece of art work I could find, tried on every dress I own, dug through every drawer of things. There's nothing else!"

"You've hardly talked to any of us about anything. It's like you don't want to know what happened the past few years."

"Woahh!" I said. "I have too!"

"Well it's been half arsed like always."

"Oh Abi just because I'm not you and I don't have some fancy degree and a fancy job…"

"Lauren!"

"Look I'm sorry Abi, but I don't need people telling me how to live my life. It's fucked up enough as it is without people interfering."

"I'm not having this conversation anymore," Abi said, standing up and taking the hot chocolate with her. "You've lost control."

"I never had control." I muttered. Watching her slam the door behind her. I was so over people getting involved in this situation. I just wanted to sort it out for myself! Which was precisely why I wanted to go away on my own.

Sighing to myself I dragged my duvet over my head, grabbing my phone. I was tempted to text Joey, but I didn't know what to say and I was pretty sure he didn't want to see it. There was just this weird emptiness there without him. I almost missed him. He was the only one in all of this who'd constructively helped me out. And he understood when to back off.

Instead of texting him I started to flick through the pictures on my phone. There were all sorts of pictures f Joey and I on there from before the accident. As I lay there, trying to remember just one of those moments. I broke down in tears.

This was to hard.

* * *

**Okay so I've updated again since it's a short part might have another part up before Saturday but don't hold me to it. :)**

**R&R**


	13. Chapter 13

I spent the next few days doing my best to avoid contact with anyone. I was so tired of everyone trying to tell me what to do about my situation, and I was ready to get the hell out of town and start over fresh where I could get my own piece of mind.

"Lauren!" Abi called through her flat. It was the day before my meeting with Joey to sign the divorce papers and I was all packed and ready to leave as soon as it was done, just enough money in my bank account for a one way ticket to America. To be honest, I was shocked Uncle Jack had sorted everything so quickly!

"What?" I sighed, slouching out of the kitchen.

"Uncle Jack's coming for dinner," she said.

"Why?"

"Does he need a reason?" Abi asked me, "He's our Uncle."

"He doesn't do this."

"He wants to make sure you're ok about tomorrow."

"Right…" I said sceptically.

I sat at the breakfast bar as Abi sorted out our meal. Jack came about an hour later carrying an expensive bottle of red wine and a folder.

"Want to crack this open Abi?" he asked, passing it to my sister.

"Sure" she replied, taking the bottle and pouring out three glasses.

"Oh I can't." I said.

"Sure you can" my Uncle scoffed.

"No, really I can't, my doctor said to stay away from alcohol for a while, I've been on some pain medication and I don't want to get sick."

"My sister rolled her eyes at me and left the extra glass on the counter as she went to sit at the dining table, my Uncle joining her.

"Lauren are you coming?" my Uncle said.

"Yeah" I sighed, sliding off my seat and going to the table.

"I brought you something" Jack said, passing me the folder from his hands.

"What's this?"

"Your new start" he said.

"Sorry, what?"

"I've sorted out a job for you" he replied. "And I got you a late enrollment at a university"

"You want me to go to uni?" I asked.

"Yes, no more of this silly art stuff. That way you can support yourself instead of relying on that husband of yours. This is why I sorted out the divorce for you"

"But…" I stated, staring at the pamphlets in the folder. "This isn't what I had in mind, I want to go to America and do art"

"Lauren…" my uncle sighed. "You haven't done so well on your own, just do this for us."

"Uncle Jack's done a lot to get you this spot" Abi said.

"I didn't even know about it though" I said. "If I'd have known I would never have agreed."

"Come on Lauren."

"No this is not what I want!" I said snapping the folder shut.

"You're being very selfish right now"

"No you guys are!" I said trying to keep my temper down. "You have no idea how hard this has been. How lives have been ruined by this silly accident"

Without another word I stood up from the table and strode into my room, grabbing my packed suitcase and the few things that were still lying around. In a huff I pushed my way out of the house.

"Lauren, where are you going?" Abi asked.

"I don't know" I said "Far away. I'll be at my meeting tomorrow to sign the papers then I'm gone"

"Lauren…"

I dragged my suitcase out of Abi's building without another word to her or our uncle, hailing a taxi on the corner.

"Where to Miss?" the driver asked.

"Umm…" I started, thinking about it. I couldn't afford a hotel room if I was saving what little money I had for a plane ticket to America. But I didn't know where anyone else lived.

"Miss?"

Without thinking I rattled of the only address that I could think of, the taxi pulling up at Joey's house. Nervously I dragged my suitcase to the door, pressing the bell and shivering slightly.

"Hi" I said as he opened the door. He looked pretty shocked to see me and I tried my best to plaster on a smile for him.

"Hi"

"I know things aren't good right now but… do you mind if I sleep here tonight?" I asked.

"It's your house too" Joey said pushing the door open.

I smiled faintly at him and dragged my suitcase into the hall, leaving it by the door. It was weird to be back here so soon, and under such awkward circumstances. But it was also oddly relaxing. It did sort of feel like home at this point.

"Have you eaten?" Joey mumbled, taking my coat and putting it on the hook by the door.

"No"

"I'll cook something for you"

"You don't have to," I said.

"It's ok" he replied, wandering into the kitchen. I followed him in and sat down in my familiar spot at the kitchen table, watching him pull down some pasta and a jar of sauce. "Everything ok?" he asked.

"No"

"What's going on?"

"My family are driving me nuts," I replied. "My uncle enrolled me into uni… I needed to get away before I did things I'd regret. But, I realized I don't really have enough money to get a hotel or anything … this was the only place I could think to come to."

"How did you know how to get here?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"The address?"

"I don't know, I just blurted it out." I said. I watched as Joey's eye's went wide with this statement. Not sure what to think.

* * *

**This was meant to be up earlier today but my stupid internet wasn't working so it is finally posted, my next part should be up really late tonight** **:)**

**R&R**


	14. Chapter 14

"Do you think…" Joey started. He didn't finish though; he just shut his moth and stared at me.

"What?"

"That you remembered something?" he asked.

"I don't know" I shrugged. "It just came out of my mouth, I'm not sure if I remembered it from before or if I re-learned it now."

"But you might have remembered it" he pointed out.

"Maybe."

He gave me a faint but hopeful smile, turning back to the pasta cooking on the stove. I really didn't want to say anything to get his hopes up because the truth was, I had no idea if what had just happened was memory or not.

He put a plate in front of me and wandered off, leaving me to eat alone. When I was done I cleaned up and then hauled my suitcase back up to what was my room before I left. I changed into some sweats and then laid back on the bed, trying to figure out if this whole address this was a memory or not.

My thoughts were so confused. I didn't know if I'd gotten my memory back or not. I didn't know anything. And I was still stuck on whether or not I was doing the right thing.

A tap on my door pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Lauren?" Joey asked quietly, appearing at the door.

"Yeah?" I asked, leaning up from my position on the bed.

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Yeah"

"Are you sure about tomorrow?" he asked, once he'd sat himself down on the edge of my bed

"I think it's for the best" I whispered.

"I can't convince you otherwise? Your mind is all made up?"

"Yeah" I replied. "I'm not trying to hurt you"

"I know" Joey sighed.

I looked at him, a forlorn look in his eyes. They were so empty and sad, the life completely sucked out of them.

"Can I just…" he stated, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

It was so weird and unexpected, even though he was my husband and I'd probably kissed him a million times. I just never thought I would be kissing him in that moment.

"Joe…" I said pulling my head back.

"Nothing?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"I just thought… I don't know like Sleeping Beauty or Snow White or something… you might just wake up"

"I'm not a Disney Princess Joey"

"You were my princess" he sighed, rubbing his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Sorry for doing that"

"You tried," I said lightly, "Can't blame you"

"I know but still it was out of line"

"It's ok"

"I want you to have the easel you know" Joey said after a minute.

I don't know if I can take it"

"Why?"

"I'm going to America"

"When?" he said, his face full of panic.

"Soon. I'm going to stay with mum, dad and Oscar for a while, sort something for myself out"

"I'll send it to you" Joey said. "It's yours."

"Joe…"

"I need you to have it"

"We'll work something out," I whispered.

"Ok" he said. "Listen I don't know how much we will talk after tomorrow, but if you ever need anything and I mean anything… please don't hesitate to call me"

"Thanks Joey" I smiled. "Mean's a lot"

"I made a promise to you Lauren, in sickness and in health… till death do us part… I'm not going to break that promise."

I don't know why but as he said those words it felt like he'd stabbed me in the heart and without another word I moved closer to him on the bed and wrapped him in a tight hug.

"I'm sorry for everything" I whispered, rubbing his back gently as he broke down I tears.

"It's not your fault, never blame yourself for this"

I squeezed hi tight in my arms, releasing him after a minute. "Promise you'll take care of yourself"

"For you I will" he said. "Goodnight Lauren, sleep well."

"See you tomorrow"

I watched him shuffle out of my room, my heart a little bit broken for him. I had no idea how hard things were for him, but they seemed pretty terrible.

I was up, dressed and in the kitchen with a cup of coffee by six in the morning. I hadn't slept a wink and my head hurt like mad.

"You ok?" Joey asked when he came into the kitchen just after half past.

"Fine you?"

"I mean…" he shrugged, not fully answering the question.

I knew this day was going to be hard for him, and I really dint know what to do to make it any better.

"Do you want me to cook breakfast?" I asked half-heartedly.

"Nah, just going to have some cereal" Joey replied, grabbing down a box from the cupboard, "I'm not that hungry."

"Did you sleep?"

"Not really."

"Me neither" I said.

Joey smiled faintly at me, sitting across from me to eat his food. Neither of us said a word and soon he was going to shower and get ready. Our appointment to get the papers signed wasn't till ten, so we did our best to avoid contact for the rest of the morning.

At 9:30 we were both sitting awkwardly in Joey's car, heading towards the office. I'd offered to go separately be he insisted on driving me. It must have been weird for him to drive me to sign the papers to divorce him. He was being braver than I would have been.

When we arrived at the office we were shown to a conference room and told to wait for our uncle to arrive.

"Sorry again about this" I whispered to Joey, "But now you'll have a chance to be with someone who remembers you"

"Lauren… what happens if you do remember though?" he asked.

"I'll give you a call" I smiled.

"Ok"

He didn't seem too keen on chatting so I left him to sit quietly and stare at the table in front of him.

"Hey guys!" a voice said breezily as the door was opened.

"Hi" I said shortly, looking up to see Abi stood there.

"Thought I'd come and check to see if you guys were ok"

"We're fine" I bit out.

"Lauren…" Abi sighed.

"You're not magically forgiven for being a bitch to me last night" I said "You and Uncle Jack"

"We're just trying to help"

"Well you aren't" I replied, taking Joy's position and staring at the table slightly.

"Right, ok…" she said, leaving the room without another word.

"She does care you know" Joey whispered.

"I don't think so" I replied.

"Give her a break; this has been hard for her to. Not just us."

"I don't want to talk about this Joey" I muttered.

It wasn't for another twenty minutes that Jack finally showed his face, followed by an older looking man who could only assume was the judge to make this whole thing official.

"Good morning Lauren" Uncle jack said, sitting down next to me at the table.

"Uncle Jack"

"Feeling any better after last night?"

"Nope. Let's just do this and be done"

"Fine." Jack said, turning to Joey. "Is your lawyer coming?"

"No"

"You're positive?" Jack said to him, a bit shocked that he was doing this alone.

"It's fine" Joey said. "Let's just… do this"

I heard him take a breath, and then the papers with the terms of our divorce were passed in front of us.

"So we will start be reviewing the terms of this document" the judge said, beginning to drone on as he read down the form.

I didn't hear a word he said though, my throat constructing as he read down the lines of our settlements.

Half of Joey's money?

The house?

A car?

It went on and on, all of his stuff been given to me.

I couldn't take any of this. My ears were ringing as I realized what was happening around me. Jack seemed pleased, like he'd just won some great battle. Joey, he looked like he could be sick all over the table in front of him.

"Hang on!" I said, pushing back from the table. "I need a minute"

"Lauren!" Jack said.

"Just hold on" I said, standing up and leaving the room.

I couldn't do this to Joey. I was supposed to be giving him a chance to be happy, not ruining his life by putting him on the streets.

Or was this what Uncle jack wanted all along? To ruin him?

I was so confused.

Without even thinking what I was doing I pushed my way clear out of the building and stood on the pavement, taking deep breaths of cool London air.

This wasn't right. This wasn't what I wanted. And in that moment I wasn't entirely sure how I was going to fix things.

"Lauren" a voice called. I saw my sister come running towards me, a worried look on her face.

"What?" I asked.

"Are you ok? I know it's hard…"

"It's not over yet"

"Why are you out here then?" she asked.

"Did you see the terms of the divorce?"

"No, I wasn't allowed"

"It's awful"

"Awful how?" Abi asked.

"His house, one of his cars and half his money…"

"Ouch."

"Abi it wasn't meant to be like this" I said "Why is it so horrible?"

"Uncle Jack hates Joey"

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't know" she shrugged. "I think it's because you two are together, he was happy for you both to start off with then realised how serious you both were and didn't like the fact that you were cousins and getting married."

"I don't want him to win" I sighed.

"So what are you going to do?" Abi asked me.

I stared at her for a second, no totally sure I was catching what she was saying. Whatever it was, I had a sneaking suspicion that like my uncle, my sister was up to something too.

"I don't get it" I said slowly.

"You will" Abi smiled "I'll be right back"

I watched her walk back into the office building, leaving me stood on the pavement more confused than ever.

Not two minutes later Joey appeared at the door, coming out with his brow frowned and a confused look on his face.

"You okay?" he asked.

"This isn't how it was meant to be!" I said, stomping my foot dramatically on the pavement.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want your things. I just wanted to slip out of your life so you could be happy and start a fresh with someone who could love and remember you"

"Lauren…" Joey sighed.

"You can't give me all your money and your home… and then go find happiness! It doesn't work like that!"

"Babe listen," Joey said trying to steer me to a ledge around the side of the building so I could sit down and catch my breath out of the view of passers-by.

"Did you know about this?" I demanded, not giving him a chance to say whatever he was going to say, "Did you?"

"Yeah" he sighed. "Uncle Jack told my lawyer that it would be best if I could help you out as much as possible. I wanted to give you a chance to find happiness too."

"Why would you give me all of your things though?" I asked.

"I don't need them" he shrugged. "If I don't have you… I don't really have anything…"

"Joey…"

"I'm serious Lauren. I love you like crazy and this is probably the last think in the world that I'd want to do. If I'm actually going to go through with it, I needed to know you were going to be taken care of and have everything you needed."

I dropped my head into my hands, tears starting to leak from the corners of my eyes. This wasn't what I wanted, no at all. But it seemed no matter how hard I tried to tell him I was helping him out, he didn't want to do it.

"Lauren" Joey said, his hand rubbing my back gently.

"God that's nice"

"What?" he asked, his hand stopping.

I let out a snort of laughter. Realizing he probably meant the back rub. "I meant you trying to make sure I was taken care of, no one has really treated me that way"

"I know" Joey said "You always had to kind of fight for the attention as something more important was always going on"

I giggled turning to look at him. "Of course you knew that"

"I know everything" he said. "Which is why I think you're crazy to want to disappear from my life"

"I'm just scared"

"I know"

"I woke up in a hospital bed, with no memory what so ever and a husband" I replied. "I had no idea how I'd met him and I'm not gonna lie, I was feeling pretty insecure about all of it. Especially when you kept telling me how much you loved me"

"You thought you'd never be able to love me back?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, and I didn't think that was fair"

"It's probably not" Joey said. "But love isn't always fair"

"I guess"

We sat in silence for a good five minutes, the sound of car horns and the hustle and bustle of London falling between us. I still didn't know what I wanted to do, but I was starting to see what everyone else wanted me to do.

Uncle Jack wanted me to run from my problems.

Joey wanted me to stay with him and figure things out, no matter how hard it was. He wanted to fight for our love.

And Abi…

"Oh that bitch!" I muttered.

"What?" Joey asked a bit surprised at my outburst.

"Abi"

"What did she do?"

"She tried to be mean to me on purpose" I said. "To push me back towards you"

"Did she?"

"Yes" I replied. "I can't believe her"

"I told you she cares!" Joey said.

"Still I was so mad yesterday!"

"It worked though. You can't knock her to hard"

"Shut up!" I muttered, giving him a light swat on the stomach.

"So…" Joey said, "What are you gonna do?"

"What?"

"They'll be in there waiting for you to go and finish all of this"

"Oh god I don't know…"

"If you really want this and I mean, really want it… I'll go and sign those papers for you. You can go away and find yourself and do whatever" he said. "But just know, no matter what you say, I'll be here waiting for you."

"That is exactly the opposite of why I wanted to do this"

"I know"

"You're not going to give up are you?" I asked.

"No" Joey smiled. "Not until we are both happy again. Together"

"Were we really happy? You and me?"

"Of course" Joey smiled "Like we were walking on clouds."

I felt that weird clench in my heart again. I'd had it a few times but this was the most profound. Like my soul was trying to tell me something, but I had no idea what.

"Right" I said heaving a big sigh and brushing the tears from my eyes. I hated that I was such a mess over this whole situation. I hated that I was letting it get the better of me.

"So what we gonna do?" Joey asked.

"Can you just take me home?" I asked.

"Home? You sure you don't want to go back inside?"

"Not like this" I said.

"Right"

I followed Joey around the building to where his car was parked, the pair of us climbing in and leaving without a word to anyone. The ride was silent and when we arrived home I went straight to the kitchen.

"Please don't say anything" I said as I took a beer from the fridge. "I know I'm not supposed to, but I need it"

"I was going to do the same thing" Joey said. "Only I thought you would say something as it's so early. It's just gone noon."

I smiled faintly at him, taking another beer from the fridge and passing it to him. We both had a sip, setting our drinks on the counter at almost the same time.

"Come here" Joey said as we stood there awkwardly. His arms were outstretched and I immediately fell into them. "It's gonna be ok" he said into my hair, his hand rubbing my back gently.

"I just want to be happy again, both of us"

"We will be" Joey replied, "We just need to figure it out, together"


	15. Chapter 15

"Oh my god I'm so exhausted" I sighed as I set my empty beer bottle on the counter and tried to stifle a huge yawn.

"That's what you get for not sleeping all night"

"Oh yeah" I said sheepishly.

"You have an open mind?" Joey asked.

"What does that mean?"

"Well I'm off the rest of the day… I was thinking, if you're up for it, we could do something we both love."

"What's that?"

"Lay in bed and watch TV"

"In bed?" I asked.

"Don't worry it's a big bed" Joey grinned, his hands in front of him. "Not trying to pull anything"

"You better not!" I giggled.

"What do you think?"

"You know what… I gotta try things" I said. "If we're gonna do this, I've got to try."

"Good" Joey said, grabbing two more beers from the fridge and popping them open, "Come on"

I followed him up the stairs, stopping outside the main bedroom. I avoided going in there as much as possible, mostly because I thought I was invading Joey's space.

"Come on" he laughed.

"Right" I said following him in, an embarrassed glow on my cheeks.

He placed the beers on the bedside tables, carefully placing them so they were at arm's length from each side of the bed.

"Am I wearing my jeans?" I asked. "Only I feel like I'd prefer something more comfy"

"You're right" Joey said, going into my wardrobe, "Open mind?"

"Yeah…"

I watched as he wandered to the walk inn wardrobe, pulling out a t-shirt and sweatpants. "You'd probably wear this" he laughed, throwing it on the bed.

"This?"

"I'm your husband" he replied, a smirk on his lips as he took in my somewhat shocked look.

"Right" I replied, looking at the clothes. They were most defiantly his. Maybe old but it didn't matter. They were his!

Taking a deep breath, I scooped up the clothing and wandered into the en suite, changing quickly. I tried to be open about this situation, slipping on Joey's clothes. It was weird though, I wasn't going to lie. But I needed to at least try. And they were really comfy. Insanely comfy.

"Ok" I said walking out into the bedroom.

"Good job!" he said a cheeky look in his eye as he took in my attire.

"Stop!" I laughed looking over at Joey. He'd also changed into similar clothes, a bemused look on his face as he bustled around the room.

"Climb in then"

"Which side?" I asked, taking in the large bed.

"Which do you think?" Joey asked.

I studied the bed for a minute, considering my usual habits. "I don't know" I muttered.

"Guess"

"The right?" I said. Not really thinking.

"You're correct" Joey grinned going over to grab his beer from his nightstand.

"Really? Or re you just being nice?"

"I'm being real" Joey said. "Look I the nightstand over there if you don't believe me"

I gave him a sceptical look. Dragging open the door of the nightstand, there wasn't much inside; some lip balm, a few tissues and a purple pen. The rest of it was just random stuff that anyone might have. But this was defiantly my side.

"See?" Joey said brightly.

"Shhh!"

"Climb on then" he replied.

"Ok…"

I slipped into bed snuggling up against the pile of pillows.

"And…"

"Oh this is so comfy" I grinned.

"See?"

"I can't believe I let you have this room!"

"Well…" Joey started "I wasn't really going to give it up"

"No?"

"I'm awful, taking advantage of you like this…"

Shocked by his statements I turned to look at him, a cheeky grin on his lips. "You're making fun of me"

"It's insensitive, but yes."

I rolled my eyes at him. Burrowing into the covers deeper. The bed was really comfortable. I couldn't believe I'd been sleeping in my lumpy bed for so long.

"TV?" Joey asked "I'll order Chinese or something later if you want…"

"Is that what we do? Lay in bed and order take-out?"

"Yes. As often as we can"

"That actually sounds exactly like me. Exactly what I love."

"See this was a great idea" Joey said.

"Hmmm… Yes" I replied, my eyes already dropping a bit.

Joey flicked channels for a while, trying to find something that we both liked. I was still in a funk about not knowing what was on TV, so I left it in his control to pick what was on.

"Normally I'd watch Football" Joey explained. "And you'd probably pick a film you'd already seen"

"Ok…"

"But I'm not finding much of either."

"Oh" I giggled, grabbing my beer and having another sip. I was actually really enjoying laying in bed and laughing with him, it was fun.

"Cartoons…" Joey asked. "Or something you don't know?"

"Cartoons maybe…"

"Done"

"I snuggled back into the pillows, trying to focus on whatever cartoons were on TV. But I was just too exhausted.

"Just sleep" Joey laughed.

"Shhh…" I giggled.

I closed my eyes. Laughing a bit at what he was saying, but the duvet was so snugly and the pillows were so soft, and soon I was out cold.

I woke up later in the afternoon, a loud ringing going through the house. It was dark out now and the TV had switched over to something I'm sure I'd never agree to watch.

"Hmmm…" I mumbled looking around. Joey was gone and the ringing kept going. Climbing out of bed I wandered to the stairs, guessing that the ringing was the doorbell.

"Hey what's up?" I heard Joey say.

"We knew today was going to be rough, so we brought all the beer we could!" I heard.

I sat down on the stairs, halfway to the front door trying not to giggle as I heard the boys talking.

"This is great guys" I heard Joey say "But…"

"No buts Joe…" One of the boy's said loudly "We aren't going to let you lay around and mope for a few days"

"No guys…" Joey sighed.

"It's not healthy"

"Guy's, just hold on" Joey said, pushing the door wide open.

The two boys caught me sitting on the steps, a surprised look on their faces.

"Hey guy's" I said sheepishly.

"What are you doing here?"

"Long story" I said, standing up and coming to meet them. "Today didn't quite go as planned"

"Oh, so you guys are…"

"Together still? Yeah" Joey said.

"You can come in for a beer or ten" I said eyeing up the cases of beer they were carrying.

"We though Joy might need one" Fatboy replied.

"I see that" I smirked. They literarily had enough beer for forty people.

The group of us sat around the front room, the boys sipping beers as we chatted. I let Joey explain to them what was going on, adding details when needed.

"So you're going to try this out?" Tyler asked.

"For now yeah" I said. "Joey was right when he said he knew everything about me. I obviously married him for a reason. So I need to work on trusting him and letting him teach me about myself. Maybe I won't remember my past but he'll help me figure out my life and how to have a future."

"You'll remember" Joey said.

I simply shrugged at him as another beer was opened and the sound of the can distracted everyone form a tense moment that could of erupted.

"So what about LA?" Fatboy asked.

"I don't know" Joey replied.

"LA?" I asked looking from boy to boy. No one had mentioned anything about LA to me at any point I was really confused.

"I'm supposed to go and check on a club" Joey sighed. "I don't know what's going to happen now, can we please just talk about it tomorrow"

"Yeah," I said, my brow frowned at him. This was news to me.

The boys stuck around for another hour then Joey and I were left alone.

"You hungry?" he asked. "I never ordered the take-out I promised."

"Yeah" I shrugged, sitting down at the kitchen table.

"Don't worry about the LA thing" Joey said. "I only agreed to it when you were going away to find yourself or whatever. And even then I didn't really want to go in case anything happened."

"But it's for your job"

"I know, but right now your health is more important" Joey aid grabbing out a Chinese menu from the drawer. "Do you wanna pick, or should I just order you're usual?"

"What's my usual?" I asked.

"Sweet and sour sauce with chicken and rice." Joey said without hesitation.

I couldn't help but smile when he said that, of course he knew my order. "Sounds good"

"Told you I know everything" Joey said, grabbing his phone and wandering off to make the order.

I sat at the kitchen table and traced circles on the wood, eventually getting up to go my art room, I'd left a folder open of some random drawings I'd done of what Joey had told me where just random people I'd saw when I was out.

I was convinced some of my drawings would give me some memory back so I sat and flicked through that folder again and again.

"Chinese is here" Joey said about half an hour later.

"Ok" Slipping off my seat I wandered back to the kitchen where cartons of hot food were waiting for me.

"Tell me about LA" I said.

"What do you want to know?"

"Have I ever been?"

"Yeah a few times actually" Joey replied. "We bought a little apartment out there late last year when I had been given a club to check up on now and again, I kind of own a tiny share in"

"Wow"

"It's nothing fancy" Joey shrugged. "Just some where we stay instead of hotels. There's a tiny space for you to do your art, a little kitchen so we could eat in. We let our friends and family use the place when we don't need it, so it doesn't sit empty all the time."

"I want to see it"

"What?"

"This place, I want to see it." I said. "What if it triggers memories or something?"

"I don't know…" Joey sighed. "I'm meant to be over there for a few weeks. I don't want to leave you in a foreign country while I have to work"

"Well you'd be leaving me here alone if you went without me" I replied. "And you'd be neglecting your job if you didn't go, so how about I just come with?"

"Lauren…"

"And maybe while I'm in America I could go and visit my family" I said "That might be good too?"

"I'll think about it" Joey replied. "I just think it might be too soon after everything you've been through to go that far away"

"Well I want to go"

He let out a loud sigh, rolling his eyes at me as he sat across the table from me to eat his food. I could tell he really didn't want either of us going all that way to LA just yet. It was for from my doctors and the family and friends who'd so far helped us though this whole thing.

"About sleeping arrangements…" I teased later that night as I was getting ready to go to bed.

"What about them?" Aston said.

"That bed is too damn comfortable for me to go back in the other room" I said.

"So you want to kick me out of the master?"

"I was just suggesting unless this is weird… maybe we try sharing? Just one night? It's such a big bed and sooo comfy…"

"Yeah, yeah" Joey said. "I get it you like it more than me"

"Duh!"

I watched as joey rolled his eyes at me, nodding towards the master bedroom. Victoriously I slipped into the space I'd vacated when the boys arrived, burrowing into the duvet and letting out a comfortable and content sigh. This seemed so much more right than sleeping in my old bed, even though I'd loved it so much.

"You know" Joey said quietly as he flicked the lights out and climbed in. "I never thought my so called divorce day would be the day I finally got my wife back into bed next to me…"


	16. Chapter 16

An alarm buzzing woke me the next morning, and for a minute I was a bit disorientated about my surroundings.

"Sorry!" I heard muttered from beside me, that weird pang in my heart going again as I realised as I was in bed with Joey. Not like that of course, a good three or four feet separated us the bed was so big.

But still, we shared a bed.

"It's fine" I mumbled, turning over and closing my eyes, soon drifting off to sleep.

"Lauren…" a voice whispered later, "Lauren!"

"Hmm…"

"I've got to go to work this morning" Joey said "You'll be ok by yourself?"

"Yeah, yeah"

"Promise you won't lie in bed all morning."

"That sounds perfect though" I said pulling the duvet closer to my chin dramatically.

"Babe…"

"I'm kidding!"

"Right, ok" Joey said "I'll be back some point this afternoon"

"Ok, maybe we can go out tonight? I'm tired of being pent up here and I'd love to go out, even if it's just dinner"

"Dinner sounds good" Joey replied, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to my forehead. "Bye babe"

I felt my face burn as he did that, surprised at how forward he was being.

"Sorry" I heard whispered from across the room. "Sometimes I forget I can't do that anymore…"

"It's ok" I replied, sitting up slowly to look at him. "You shouldn't have to hold back"

Joey gave me a faint smile, waving slightly as he pulled the bedroom door shut behind him and wandered off downstairs. I knew that his slip up had upset him, and to be honest I did feel bad. He shouldn't have to walk to walk on eggshells around his wife.

I lay back in bed and tried to get back to sleep, but after that weird moment with Joey I was wide awake. As soon as I heard the front door pull shut I slipped out of bed, wandering around the room and pulling open drawers and looking at the things in them. For whatever reason I dreamed this place was off limits and really hadn't done much exploring yet, minus my own wardrobe. Sheepishly I wandered in to Joey's wardrobe, curious at what I might find inside.

"Hmm…" I muttered, taking in the racks of tops and shirts that were hanging. There were a lot of clothes in there. When I was done in his wardrobe, I wandered into the en suite, having a look around. I'd been in a few times to grab things, but I'd never properly had a look around. Shy about invading Joey's space, which was strange because it was my space too. It was defiantly one of the nicer parts of the house, with both a large tub and shower.

Eying up the bath I couldn't help but start the water, letting it run for a minute. Watching the bottom fill slightly and running my hand under the stream of water I looked around for some bubble bath, letting the tub fill completely.

While I waited I went back to my bathroom to collect some of my things, finally stripping down and slipping into the bath.

"Hmm…" I sighed, closing my eyes as the bubbles washed over me. It was actually heavenly.

I relaxed for a bit. Eventually I started to doze off a bit; my head leant back against the tub as I closed my eyes.

Just as I let out a content sigh, the door burst open, scaring the life out of me.

"WOAH!" I said loudly, my heart beating fast.

"Sorry" Joey said, standing awkwardly in front of me, his eyes darting around as if he didn't know where to look. "I was wondering where you got to"

"Right…" I said my eyes wide as he stood and stared at me, naked in the tub.

I couldn't really move from the position I was in, or it would be even more compromising. Luckily there were bubbles to cover my modesty, but it was still really awkward. Finally catching on Joey turned his attention to the drawers by the sink.

"Umm… I forgot my watch" Joey said going over to the sink.

I watched him retrieve his watch his eyes catching mine in the mirror as he stared at me.

"Quit checking me out" I squealed.

"Sorry!" he replied, his cheeks burning bright as he averted his eyes.

I could feel my cheeks burning as well as he finally left the en suite, pulling the door shut behind him.

"Holly shit" I muttered, catching my breath back. The whole situation had defiantly caught me off guard.

Taking a deep breath I climbed out of the bath and dried off quickly, wrapping up in a towel. Cautiously I went downstairs to find Joey in the kitchen putting on his watch.

"Um…" I said quietly, not sure how to articulate how I was feeling.

"Sorry!" Joey said. He seemed kind of jumpy and I watched him nearly drop his watch as he tried to fasten the strap.

"You ok?"

"Yeah…Um…I should of knocked. I didn't think"

"It's fine" I shrugged going over to help him fasten up his watch.

"No it's not fine" Joey said. "I've been really bad today"

"It's really not a big deal" I said.

"It is" Joey said, "I just can't help it, you're my wife and I've got these feelings for you that I really shouldn't be having right now. And I'm just making things really awkward by being a perv…"

"To be honest Joe" I laughed. "I'd be disappointed if you weren't having those feelings…"

"True but…"

"Get to work"

"Right" he said once his watch was on his wrist. "I'll be back later"

"Ok see ya"

I watched him leave, a laugh on my lips as I replayed the last ten minutes in my head. My husband was seriously a piece of work, but I found it cute.

* * *

**I wasn't going to post tonight as I have finally had a social life this weekend (never laughed so much in my life) but I was persuaded :) sorry it's a short chapter but at least i have posted.**

**More soon **

**R&R**


	17. Chapter 17

That evening I was sat in my art studio thinking through things again. I'd started to draw again nothing good just little scribbles.

"Hey Lauren..." A soft voice said at the door.

I turned around to see Joey stood with his shoulder leaning against the door frame, a soft smile on his face. "Oh hey!" I replied, spinning around on my stool so I could see him.

"You wanted to go for a meal tonight?"

"Yeah" I said pushing myself up, " you don't mind do you? We could find somewhere quiet maybe? I just wanted to get out..."

"Of course," Joey said, "I actually made a reservation already if you don't mind... At your favourite place."

"My favourite place?" I questioned.

"We found it maybe a year and a half ago" Joey shrugged. "It's a really quiet place, out of the way, but they have amazing stuff. You usually start with the bruschetta, and then have a pasta dish as your main unless the special sounds better. Then we split dessert."

"Sounds good" I replied with a smile, again chuffed that he knew my order, "What time?"

"Leave in an hour?"

"That works" I said, "Maybe I'll change though"

"Ok" Joey said, letting me pass him and head up. I had a quick shower and then pulled on a maroon coloured dress with my leather jacket. I don't know why, but it sort of felt like we were going on a first date or something. And I was sort of nervous. Which was crazy because I was married to the guy!

When I was ready I wandered downstairs to find Joey stood in the kitchen playing on his phone. "Hey"

"Woah..." He whistled.

"What?" I asked. My cheeks burning red.

"No offence, but I haven't seen you cleaned up like this for a while... Caught me by surprise."

"Oh yeah, I guess you're right"

"You look lovely" Joey smiled. "I'm glad you're wearing that dress."

"Yeah?"

"You love it. And I love it too for that matter"

"Right" I said. My cheeks burning red again. "Thanks"

"Ready to go?" Joey asked.

"Yup"

"Oh wait one thing" Joey said as he started to leave the kitchen but stopped in his tracks as a thought came to him.

"What's up?"

"I know this is gonna seem weird and if it makes you super uncomfortable you don't have to do it. It's just a thought honest…"

"Ok"

"It's just you have you cast off now" Joey pointed out. "I thought you could wear your wedding ring, only if you want to of course…"

"I can wear the rings" I said.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah" I said nodding my head quickly.

I watched Joey give a cute smile and then he wandered out of the room and hopped up the stairs, taking them three at a time. In less than a minute he was back, passing me a velvet box. "Here"

"What order do I wear them in?" I frowned, looking at the three rings as I pulled the lid open on the box.

"Here let me" Joey said taking my left hand. Gently he slid them on. First my wedding band, then my engagement ring, then the eternity ring. It's a shame about your promise ring."

"What about it?"

"You lost it."

"Oh"

"You were pretty upset about it. I offered to replace it but you aid it wasn't the same. Hopefully it turns up around here someday."

"Yeah hopefully" I said looking down at my hand I'd never put the rings on before, and as I stared at them I couldn't help but feel that lurch in my stomach again. I was married.

"Ready?" Joey asked.

"Yeah" I replied with a nod of my head, my eyes still discreetly on my rings. It was just so surreal to me. But not necessarily in a bad way.

We drove into town and down t a quite area near the river. "We've got to a park on the street and walk" Joey said as he pulled the car into a gap. "They don't have a car park or anything"

"Ok"

I pushed my way out of the car and then followed Joey down the street, turning the corner. "Here we are" Joey said, pulling the door open for me.

I ordered exactly what Joey said I should, not gambling with something else. It did sound good, and apparently it was my favourite.

"Drinks?" the waitress asked.

"Gonna let me have a sneaky glass of wine?" I asked Joey.

"You really shouldn't…"

"Just one?"

"No wine?" the waitress asked her eyebrow cocked.

"No I'll have one" I said shutting my wine menu firmly. "The Sauvignon Blanc"

"You sure?" The waitress asked.

"You know what, we'll take a whole bottle" I said. "Why not?"

"Lauren…"

"Thank you" I said smiling at the waitress showing her I was ready for her to go.

Joey rolled his eyes at me, taking a sip of water as the wine came out. The waitress uncorked the bottle for us, and poured a sip out for me to try. "This is great thanks" I told her, allowing her to pour out a full glass.

"You really shouldn't have that much, the doctor said after the accident to stay away from alcohol you know the painkillers" Joey said.

"I'll be fine, I'm off most of my meds now" I told him.

"So what did you do today?" Joey asked.

"Drew a bit" I said.

"Oh yeah?"

"I'm kind of stuck with the whole remembering thing" I said. "So I decided to take a break and get some of my new ideas down"

"That's good" he smiled.

"Oh and Abi came over for a while, brought me lunch. I hadn't seen her since that day outside the offices"

"Did you two set everything straight?" Joey asked "You aren't mad at her anymore?"

I leant back as my bruschetta was placed in front of me. Joey had the same with something else I didn't recognise.

"Pickled herring" he said.

"You like that?"

"Surprisingly yes, you want to try?"

I nodded my head, leaning forward to take the forkful he was holding out to my mouth. It was sort of an intimate thing to do, and really I didn't realise this till after it had occurred.

"Ummm…" I said as I tried to swallow.

"You don't like it?" Joey laughed.

"No" I said, shaking my head.

"I know"

"What?" I laughed. "Why did you make me eat it then?"

"So you can remember" Joey shrugged. He took another forkful and ate it with a grin. "So anyways Abi?"

"Oh right," I replied, "I wouldn't say I'm not mad at her anymore, but I'm less mad. I'm still pissed she had to do all this behind my back, but I guess it worked."

"Yeah it did, and really she cares about you" Joey said. "It might of seemed a bit harsh but she cares"

"I know she's my little sister"

Joey grinned, finishing off his starter.

We spent the rest of the meal chatting about random things, the food much better than I expected. When it came to dessert Joey let me pick a tiramisu and we split it between us.

"This has been really good" Joey said "I'm glad you had the idea to go out and do something. It's always great to spend time with you"

"You know what? I sort of feel like we're on a first date or something" I giggled, confessing what I'd been feeling to Joey.

"I guess we kinda are" Joey said, "Right?"

"Yeah I guess," I shrugged, a smile playing on my lips. Joey grinned back over at me, as the check was placed between us.

"Home?" he asked.

"Yeah" I replied, "I'm tired"

Joey paid the bill and then we grabbed our things, wandering out of the restaurant slowly "let's just walk around the park across the way quick" Joey asked. "It's a nice night"

"Ok" I said, following him down the pavement towards the park. We wandered through the park for 10 minutes, chatting quietly about Joey's trip to LA. He still hadn't made a decision, and I was still pressing him to take me along.

"Ok, ok!" he said finally, taking my hand and stopping me in my tracks.

"We're going?"

"I'll call your doctor and if he says you can. We'll go. But I'm making him give me the name of someone out there, just in case we need help" Joey said, his fingers squeezing mine.

"You're serious?"

"Yes"

"Thanks Joe!" I grinned.

He gave me an exasperated shake of the head and then continued walking, my hand still in his. I allowed it though, it was comfortable and clearly natural as I don't think he even noticed he was doing it. And ok, I sort of liked it too.

At the car Joey released my hand, shaking his head slightly as he realized what he had been doing. It must have had him flustered because we drove home in silence, the radio faintly playing in the background.

At the house I wandered up to the spare room I'd taken over, changing into my pyjamas and wandering into the hall.

"Hey" Joey said.

"Just coming to say goodnight"

"Oh"

"What?"

"Thought you were going to sleep in here again" he frowned.

"Oh, I thought that was just for last night…"

"I mean, if you want you could"

"Yeah?"

"I like having you in there" Joey said finally. "Even if we can fit three people between us. It makes me feel better knowing you're next to me"

"Ok. Just let me brush my teeth." I said.

I heard Joey sigh as he wandered into the master, and when I was finished getting ready for bed I went in too. While Joey was in the bathroom I climbed into the big bed again, snuggling into the duvet.

"Night babe" Joey said as he came out, I felt the bed dip a bit as he climbed in, and then he switched out the light.

"Night"

"Love you" he whispered.

I almost said it back. Almost. It just felt like a natural thing to do.

But when it came down to it, I still had no memory of being in love with him. My brain didn't love him, just my heart.

* * *

**First of all I want to apologize that it has taken me this long to update and if you are still reading thank you for sticking by and waiting. I will be on holiday from work in a couple of weeks so I will be able to update 2 or 3 times.**

**Sorry nothing much happens in this chapter but it's setting up for the drama.**

**Until next time **

**R&R **


	18. Chapter 18

I woke up to the TV playing gently and Joey pacing back and forth on the bedroom carpet "Yep…ok… yeah she's coping a lot better… mmm hmmm… ok… I'll be sure to tell her… thanks"

"Who's that?" I asked, sitting up in bed slowly as I ran a hand through my messy hair.

"Oh you're awake?" Joey said. "Sorry I could off probably done that downstairs or something" I watched as he flicked off the TV quickly.

"It's fine who was that?"

"Your doctor" he shrugged.

"And?"

"He says you can go to LA"

"Yes!" I grinned clapping my hands excitedly. The LA trip was something that was certainly getting me through my rough situation. Not only had I never been there before, at least in my current mind set, I was also looking forward to seeing another part of my mystery life.

"He's going to e-mail the names of a few specialists over there" Joey said. "And he told me you need to take it easy"

"Can I go and see mum and dad too?"

"Yeah" Joey said. "I've jammed a lot into the last week of the trip so I will probably send you to your parents then while I'm busy, if that's ok"

"Sure"

"Right ok" Joey said clapping his hands absentmindedly "I guess we're going to LA"

"When do we go?"

"Five days"

"Ok" I replied.

"That's not too soon?"

"No I'm excited" I grinned, "I've never been before"

"Oh yeah"

"I've never really left England before!" I said, "And now I get to go on one of those big planes"

Joey raised his eyebrows at me, a smirk on his lips. I could tell that sometimes this whole situation was just amusing him. Because I'd already been on one of those big planes before… I'd been out of England.

"What are you doing today?" I asked him.

"Nothing" he shrugged, still stood in the middle of the room.

"Nothing? No work?"

"Well I've got to go to this thing tonight." Joey said. "I tried to get out of it, but they really want me there and I couldn't say no since it's sort of for a friend"

"What is it?"

"A club opening in the City"

"Good you need a night out" I told him with a nod of the head. I could tell he liked going out, and he was clearly pent up from not having a good night out in ages.

"Lo…"

"No you need to go and have fun. Be yourself and stop worrying about me"

"I'm only going out because I have to" Joey said. "I called Whitney and told her to bring Poppy over tonight"

"Ok"

"You're sure?"

"Yes Joey" I said falling back into the pillows on the bed.

"You want a cup of tea? Coffee?"

"Tea would be nice" I said.

"I'll go make some" Joey said. "Hold tight"

I watched him leave the room, his bare feet squishing into the carpet as he wandered out. I felt a small smile pull at my lips as I thought about LA again. I was dead excited to go, and hopefully there would be something there to help trigger my memory.

I snatched up the remote and flicked the TV back on, Joey coming back into the room a few minutes later, juggling two mugs of tea and a plate of toast.

"Thought you might be hungry" he said as he placed it on the bedside table.

"Good job, I am"

I grinned at him as he passed me my mug of tea and then I took a sip of the hot drink. Joey climbed back into the bed, the duvet covering his legs as he grabbed the plate of food and placed it between us.

"Mind if I spend the day with you?" Joey asked.

"Depends… what are we gonna do?"

"Well" Joey started. "I want to spend at least an hour or two lounging in bed with the TV. And then maybe we can go shopping?"

"Shopping? You?"

"I want some swim trunks for LA"

"Ohhh…" I giggled I don't know why but I found it kind of funny he was the one suggesting going shopping.

"We could maybe find some stuff for you too" Joey shrugged "If you wanted"

"You don't need to spend your money on me"

"I won't be" Joey replied "We have a joint bank account you know. We each put 70% of our earnings in it and the other bit goes on bills, investments what have you…"

"No wonder my bank account was so small" I laughed. "I thought I only had a couple of thousand pounds saved up, and I was terrified of being on my own with no job or home"

"We share"

"I see…" I said sipping my tea.

"And I think our joint account can swing a shopping trip"

"You think?" I teased. "Ok we can go shopping. But I'm going to have to look in my wardrobe to see what I have for LA before buying a whole new wardrobe or something"

"Go ahead" Joey grinned, taking some toast.

We nibbled on the food as I flicked channels on the TV. I was still struggling about not knowing what the hell was going on, but doing better about it.

After finishing my tea I left Joey lying in bed as I started to dig through my wardrobe to see what kind of summery clothes I had. There were a fair number of dresses, vest tops and shorts. I was pretty sure I could put together a summer wardrobe without having to buy anything new.

I failed though of course, the second Joey and I hit the shops he was pulling things off the racks and trying to get me to try them on.

"You're the worst" I laughed "Do you always do this?"

"Yes. Let me pick you an outfit" Joey said "Please!"

"For what?"

"I'll find an occasion" he replied, slipping into the racks of clothes as he started looking.

"Ok I guess…" I mumbled to myself.

He eventually emerged with a red, lace belted skater dress.

"You like?"

"It's pretty" I nodded.

"Try it on"

"Joe…" I sighed shaking my head, taking the dress from him. I really wanted to hate the dress but I just couldn't it fit perfectly. Joey clearly knew my size and what I liked, because the dress was like a dream.

"You like it?" Joey asked as I came back out in normal clothes.

"It's nice"

"Ok, I'm buying it" he said, taking it from me before I could tell him that I didn't need it.

Not bothering to put up a fight anymore, I left him to go and find his swim trunks as I wandered around looking at the nice things on display.

As we left the store I grabbed Joey's hand and gave it a tight squeeze. No one around knew what was going on between us, but we did. And this gesture was to show that I appreciated how nice he was being to me through it all.

* * *

**Hey I'm on holiday from work now for a week :) I have plans this week but I should be able to post another 2 parts maybe 3 **

**until tomorrow (Or very late tonight)**

**R&R **


	19. Chapter 19

The dress was hanging in my wardrobe; I sat crossed legged on the big bed in the master bedroom and watched Joey flit about as he got ready for the club night. It was a late night affair, but he'd agreed to go to dinner with a few people beforehand.

"Babe I'd invite you, but I really don't think you'd want to go"

"It's ok" I shrugged, twisting the rings on my fingers around. I'd worn them out shopping and I hadn't taken them off yet. They were so pretty and I really did like them. Maybe I'd just leave them on?

"You're sure?"

"Yeah I don't really want to go clubbing or anything. Would probably give me a headache"

"I sort of figured" Joey said with a sad smile.

"Anyways. It'll be nice to spend time with the girls"

"Don't let them feed you too much wine"

"Ok Dad!" I laughed, pointing to one of the tops he was holding out for me to pick for him. He took another look at it and then laid it on the end of the bed, going back to put the other tops away.

"You'll text if you need anything?" Joey asked.

"Course"

"Ok" Joey sighed. "I'm going to have a shower"

"The girls should be here soon anyways" I said, slipping off the bed. "And Joe… please don't worry about me"

"I can't help it"

"I know" I said, touching his arm gently before wandering out of the room and going down to the kitchen to tidy up a bit.

The girls arrived before Joey was done getting ready and we sat sprawled across the sofas in the front room chatting with a glass of wine.

"Ok I'm heading out" Joey said, coming to stand behind me. "You promise you'll let me know if you need anything?"

"Of course" I said "Have fun!"

"I'll try" Joey sighed. Kissing the top of my head instinctively before wandering out of the room. I could see the light of the car that had come to pick him up, and soon he was gone.

"Wow" Whitney grinned.

"What?"

"You guys are doing so well"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You and Joey, remember when you were talking about leaving him?" Whitney said "But now you've got the rings on and you two seem to be doing great"

"I almost did leave him" I muttered. "I didn't tell you"

"Huh?" Poppy said, grabbing her wine from the table.

"I got as far as being about to sign papers for a divorce" I said shamefully "But I couldn't do it"

"Ohhh Lauren you should have called" Poppy said. "We would of helped you through that"

"I'm sorry" I replied "I was freaking out I guess"

"It's ok" Whitney said. "We know the situation is tough, you've just got to have trust"

"I'm getting there. I mean, every day I don't remember is less of a chance that I'll ever remember. But I'm getting more comfortable in this life and with Joey"

"That's very important" said Poppy.

"And Joey's handling this ok?" Whitney added.

"You saw him" I shrugged. "He's trying really hard, he really is a great husband"

"That's great"

The three of us dug through the drawer of takeout menus in the kitchen, eventually deciding to head out for a low key meal at a place a twenty minute walk down the street.

"I'm going to LA in a few days" I told the girls over some fruity cocktails.

"LA?" Poppy questioned. "You're sure?"

"Yeah" I said, "I had a life there too, and I might as well go discover it. Joey has to work, and he said he will send e off to my parents a few days towards the end."

"That sounds lovely" Poppy concluded. "The place in LA is really cute"

"You've been?"

"Yeah we all came out six months ago, when you were there with Joey. The flat isn't that big or anything but it's cozy. And there's a pool outside."

"Ohh…"

"And the beach is only a ten minute walk or something" Poppy added.

I gave her a small smile. When she said all of us I was taking it Lucy had been to our place in LA too, I was still a bit wary about my relationship with her, even though I'd been told by several friends that we were good friends now. I guess I was just suspicious because of our history. But Lucy did seem ok.

We had a nice meal and then stuck around for another round of drinks. Once finished we caught a cab, the girls dropping me off at home as they took it towards their places further into the city.

I wandered around the front room picking up the empty wine glasses we'd left around, taking mine and refilling it as I wandered upstairs to get my pyjamas on. I thought about climbing into the big bed in the master and switching on the TV, but it just seemed weird to do without Joey there. I still thought it was his space and I was the one invading.

So, I set the glass of wine on the side table of my usual room, the one with the iron framed bed, eventually I cuddled into the duvet, switching off the lamp and drifting off to sleep.

Hours later I was awoken by a movement in the corridor, steps walking past my room again and again. I laid quietly in the darkness. Listening to Joey move about. It was still a bit earlier than I was expecting his night to be over, but I knew he was worried about me and would probably throw the towel in early.

As I lay there, the door quietly opened. Joey slipping in. I bit my lip gently as I listened to him move about, trying not to make a sound, or worse laugh.

"What are you doing in here?" He mumbled, climbing into the bed beside me.

I listened to him shuffle around, and then I felt him near me. I don't know why I didn't just turn and speak to him, but I didn't. Maybe because I was curious to what he would do?

"Miss you sweetheart" I heard him whisper, his thumb running deliciously down my back as his breath tickled my neck. I felt him leave a hot kiss against my shoulder and then he slipped into the bed next to me. Leaving a gap as he fell asleep.

I don't know why, but as I lay there I felt hot tears run down my cheeks, my old insecurities bubbling up. He loved me so much, he was so good to me, but I still couldn't place him in my memory. At all.

Carefully I slipped my hand out from under the duvet, whipping the tears from my eyes. Then, I twisted so I was facing Joey, slipping closer to him in bed as I willed the tears away. He was flat out asleep. Probably a little bit drunk, but I dint care. Being near him calmed me, and carefully I lifted his arm and put it over me so I was cuddled into his hold warmly.

It was only then that I started feeling a little bit better. Only when my heart was close to his. Because even though my brain had no idea who he was, my heart did. I could feel the love in there somewhere, deep down. I just needed to figure out how to let it free.

* * *

**Hey so I know I said this part would of been posted for when you all woke up but I was on a cheering up mission last night and that took priority,**

**till later tonight**

**R&R**


	20. Chapter 20

I woke up with Joey's arm still wrapped around me, his hand having slid down to my waist, holding it gently. He was snoring lightly, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks as he breathed in and out. So this is what I woke up to everyday?

Hmmm…. Not bad

I giggled to myself as I adjusted my position ever so slightly, my forehead leaning against Joey's chest just barely. Closing my eyes I tried to drift back to sleep, only to be shocked awake when Joey jerked suddenly.

"Woah Joe" I was a bit scared "You alright?"

"Sorry" he sighed, his hand snaking off my waist quickly and awkwardly.

"No. don't" I said, my body still close to his.

"What?"

"I put it there" I replied "I was cold"

"Ok…" Joey said slowly, his hand slowly finding it's way back to my waist. He'd hardly put it there. So with a small huff I slid my hand free and moved his back to where it had been resting.

"That's better" I said, sighing gently. "You ok?"

"Just a nightmare" Joey whispered, "I have it a lot"

"A nightmare? Of what?"

"Just…"

"Joe tell me" I prodded.

"Your crash"

"Why are you dreaming of my crash?" I asked. "You shouldn't"

"I know" Joey sighed. "I can't help it, it terrifies me"

"Everything's ok now" I told him, my eyes searching his as I tried to console him. It seemed absolutely crazy to me that he was having nightmares of my crash. But then again, everything about us seemed crazy to me.

"Lo?"

"Hmmm"

"Is everything ok?" Joey asked.

"What do you mean?"

"This just seems… weird," he explained, his fingers tapping my side gently to indicate that he meant how close we were to each other.

"Really?" I frowned, looking at him.

"No offence" he said "We just haven't done this. I didn't think you'd be comfortable."

"You remember coming in here last night?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah…"

"I was awake"

"Oh" Joey breathed out, clearly embarrassed.

"I thought what you did was sweet. I wanted to cuddle you"

"Why?"

"Because, as weird as it sounds, my body knows you. After you kissed my shoulder I could feel my heart flutter, and it told me to slide closer to you. My brain might have no idea who you are or anything about us, but my heart knows you"

I watched Joey smile gently, his fingers sprawling out slightly as he pulled me just an inch or so closer to him.

"I do miss you" he whispered, "Because I know you have the ability to remember everything, your just stuck"

"Very stuck"

"And I'm trying a hard as I can to get you unstuck"

"I know" I grinned "You're doing a fantastic job. Really."

"Thanks"

"You're a great husband Joey. A really great husband. I don't know how I got so lucky"

"I've got a great wife to match" he replied. "I work weird hours with my job, but you have always been supportive and that's all I can ask for"

I smiled up at him again, cuddling into his chest. He kept his arm around me as we cuddled there for almost an hour. Neither of us talking, both of us enjoying being with each other.

The entire time I lay there. I thought about the situation we were in. I knew after the moment with Joey that even if I never remembered my life I could still find happiness, with him.

"Wanna go for breakfast?" Joey mumbled after over an hour had passed.

"Sure" I sighed. Yawning.

"Ok, I'm going to get up and rinse off quick"

"I'll get ready too"

I watched Joey slip out of bed and head to the master bedroom, a smile creeping across my face again as I thought about how cozy it had been just to lay there with him. We didn't say anything, and we didn't need to. It was such a nice time.

And if I wanted I could have that all the time.

Grinning to myself I slipped out of bed too, dashing across the hall for a quick shower myself. When I was done I grabbed some skinny jeans and a top, puling m hair out of my face carefully.

"Ready?" Joey asked, popping his head into the room.

"Just about" I told him snatching up my hoodie and some shoes.

Together we left the house, heading off to find breakfast. Joey said he knew a place, and soon enough we were sat at a table in the back corner of an old café, piles of pancakes between us.

"This is perfect" I said, eyeing up all the food.

"Good" Joey said, stabbing one with his fork.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure" he said looking up at me.

"Why did you come into my room last night?"

"That's easy" Joey replied, off-handedly "I've told you this before… I like having you next to me, it makes me feel better"

"Better about what?"

"Everything" Joey shrugged. "This might seem awkward, but when you were in hospital it was awful. Knowing that you were in that horrible bed with all those wires and everything. and then all of a sudden you were across the hall with no memory of me, totally freaked out. I guess having you next to me makes me feel better because at least I know you want to be near me."

"Oh Joe…" I sighed.

"I know it's weird" he replied. "But I like it"

"I do too"

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah" I said. "You're great, I like spending time with you"

"But doesn't being intimate freak you out?"

"I'd hardly call sharing a bed intimate" I scoffed.

"Still…"

"Honestly? No. I told you this earlier, my heart knows you. It wants to do this stuff."

"Right" Joey said a small smile on his face.

"This might seem weird, but I've realized that even if I don't get my memory back I know I'll be happy with you"

"You'll get it back" Joey said.

"Why are you so sure of that?"

"I just know you will" he replied. "It might not be for ages, or it might be because of the most random thing ever, but I know you'll get it back."

"I hope so" I smiled. "I'd like to remember happy times"

"You will"

We finished our pancakes, going back to the house and sprawling out on the sofas in the front room with a pile of films. My eyes kept darting over to Joey wondering things. Wondering about us and how we'd act together. About what it was like to really feel loved by him, to be intimate. Everything. Because I was still a girl with no memory and he was still holding back.

That night I stumbled into my room to get ready for bed. Joey coming up the stairs behind me.

"Come into the main bedroom for tonight?" he asked.

"Sure"

I watched him disappear into the room as I went to get changed, my heart beating hard again. Was it too weird to be spending the night with him when I didn't know who he was?

Except…I did know. He was the guy who sat by my bed when I had no memory. They guy who insisted on taking care of me when I was freaked out just by thinking about being married. The guy who kept me calm and composed through everything. he was my husband, and he was always there for me.

Ten minutes later I climbed into the big bed, watching as he flicked off the light. "Night Lauren"

"Night" I whispered, turning and watching him fall asleep.

As I lay there I couldn't help but feel that flutter in my heart going non-stop. I really did love this guy deep down, and watching him sleep was enough for me to realize how much.

"Lauren…" he whispered after a while.

"Yeah?"

"You're up?"

"Yep" I replied.

I watched him twist around to face me, his eyes glued to mine as we both lay there "Can I kiss you?" he whispered.

"Kiss me?" I stuttered.

"Just once? Goodnight…"

My eyes still locked with his as I felt what he did, he desire to feel loved. He'd been missing it for so long, and maybe I had to, but I was still trying to figure out what my feelings were.

"Ok" I said.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah"

With a gentle smile he slid forward, soft fingers coming to rest on my neck gently. His eyes connected with mine, he lent just close enough to press his lips against mine softly, pulling away quick enough that it wouldn't get awkward.

"Night" he smiled.

"Night"

I watched him turn over contently, my eyes on his back as I tried to comprehend what had just happened. He kissed me. He kissed me and I like it. A lot.

* * *

**Next part is the start of the LA trip, which I might have up tonight as I'm in such a good mood **


	21. Chapter 21

I spent the next few days getting ready for the trip to LA. Joey had managed to get the trip down to 2 weeks, as he was going to be more busy in the second week he had me all booked to go out and stay with my parents and then he'd come and join me for another week of relaxation on the beach.

"Joe!" I called out, standing in front of the suitcase pilled full of clothes. "Do you think I need a coat?"

"A coat?"

"Is it going to be chilly?"

"Lauren. We're going to the beach"

"I know but…"

"Babe, I gave you a list," Joey said. "Just follow that and you'll be fine."

"Sorry, I just haven't done this before"

"You have." Joey reminded me. "And you did great"

"I mean…"

"I know what you mean" Joey grinned. "But trust me when I say you can handle this. You've done it before. Many times."

"Right ok" I sighed, looking down at the things pilled in my suitcase. Slowly I started picking pieces out and putting them away. I was certainly a little bit nervous about going away for so long, but I needed to do it for my own piece of mind.

That night we had a take out, and going to bed early. My mind was buzzing though. Thinking about how exciting it was to go to America for a few weeks. I could hardly sleep, and by midnight I knew I was up for the night.

"Lauren…" Joey groaned as I slipped out of bed.

"Just sleep"

"Where are you going?"

"Drawing"

"Babe you need sleep"

"I'll sleep on the plane" I whispered slipping on a dressing gown, going down to the room and sitting at the desk.

I did what I always did first, looked at some of the drawings, trying to open my mind to see if I could remember anything. But every time it was the same. Nothing.

When I was finished I grabbed the sketch pad I'd been working in recently and some pencils. I wasn't drawing anything of any importance just some flowers.

I must of gotten lot on what I was doing because soon the sun was up and a cup of coffee was being placed on the desk in front of me.

"We're leaving in an hour and a half" Joey said.

"Oh thanks."

"I can't believe you stayed up all night"

"Too excited to sleep" I grinned. "And a bit scared."

"Scared?" Joey asked.

"Just uncertain as to what I will in LA you know?"

"I guess" Joey shrugged. "I'm going to throw some breakfast together, why don't you go get dressed"

I smiled at him, slipping off my chair and grabbed my sketch pad I'd been drawing in. I made sure to slip them in my carry-on bag and then I ran up the stairs for a shower.

A few hours later we were boarding the plane to LA. My heart was beating hard, the nerves building up more and more.

"This plane is huge" I said taking my seat at the window.

"Thankfully" Joey shrugged, sitting next to me. "Ten hours on a plane would be hell if we were all cramped"

"True"

We sat through the safety demonstration and then the plane backed away from the gate.

"This is terrifying" I told Joey.

"It's not so bad"

"How did I make it through this the first time?"

"You chugged a couple of shots of vodka"

"Well snap" I said knocking back a shot of vodka in my hand. Joey passed me his with a smirk and I drank that too, my head already starting to spin from the alcohol.

"You'll be fine" Joey laughed, taking my hand and squeezing it.

"I hate this…" I muttered, clutching his hand tightly.

I closed my eyes as we took off, my hand practically squeezing Joey's off. It wasn't until we'd evened out and the flight attendants were up and walking around that I finally calmed down.

"Now you just have to get through the landing" Joey teased.

"Shut up!"

"Just saying" he grinned, taking two glasses from the flight attendant.

We chatted for a while, but as everyone settled for the flight I wrapped myself in a blanket that had been on my seat and closed my eyes, drifting off.

A sudden jerk woke me up and I turned to look at Joey quickly, terrified that something was wrong.

"Just landed" he grinned.

"What?!"

"You slept the entire flight, I'm impressed"

"Must have been the vodka shots I drank" I said, "I'm starving"

"Saved you a snack" joey said, passing me a packet of crisps. "We'll stop for something on the way to the apartment"

"Thanks"

We went through the passport check and grabbed our bags, going out to get the rental car Joey had booked for the next couple of weeks.

"Hamburgers?" he asked as we drove out the airport drive.

"Sure that sounds very American"

"It is" Joey laughed.

He seemed to know where he was going and I got lost looking out the window as we drove through the streets of LA. Everything was so big and there were palm trees everywhere.

"This place is great"

"It's not bad" Joey grinned, pulling up at a drive-through burger place. He ordered our food and then we were off again. "Here we are" he said, pulling the car into a quiet complex a few blocks from the beach.

"This is fabulous" I grinned, taking inn our LA home. There was a big pool in the middle of a few buildings, tanned people lying around it.

"Come on" Joey said, hoping out the car. He grabbed our food bags but left our suitcases in the boot. "I'll get them later."

With my bag in my hand I followed him into the building, a smile on my face as I looked around.

"It's not much" Joey said when we were in our apartment.

"It's perfect" I replied, turning to give him a smile. There was a few photos of us on the beach on the walls, and a cozy looking sofa in the main room with a desk behind it.

"You wanna share the master?" Joey asked, "Or do you want your own room?"

"You like it when we share," I said

"Yeah, but do you?"

"Actually…Yeah"

"Now What?" I asked, looking around the apartment again. We'd eaten then dragged our bags in. joey and I unpacked into the wardrobe and drawers in the main bedroom and were now sitting on the huge sofa.

"It's a recovery day" Joey said, "To fight jet lag"

"Oh"

"Don't think you need it though" Joey grinned, turning his head over to look at me. "You slept for like nine hours on the plane"

I gave him a sheepish smile as he said that, the combination of no sleep the night before and the vodka shots having put me over the edge.

"We could go out if you want" Joey said.

"Aren't you tired? It's got to be practically bed time at home"

"I don't mind"

"We can go out then" I agreed with an excited grin.

"Where do you wanna go? Is there something touristy you want to see? Do you want to go shopping?"

"Could we maybe go down to the beach?" I asked.

"Sure" Joey shrugged.

"Let me just get changed out of my plane clothes" I said, wandering to the bedroom. I didn't really know much about the beaches in LA, if they'd be cold or warm, but I pulled on a bikini and a sundress anyway.

"Going swimming huh?" Joey asked when I came out of the bedroom with my sunglasses and sandals in my hands.

"Wrong outfit choice?" I worried.

I don't know" Joey shrugged. "The water is usually kind of cold, but it's better to be safe than sorry. We can always jump in the pool when we get back"

"Oh yes!" I nodded, it was pretty warm outside, a dip in the pool wouldn't be a bad idea regardless.

Joey went to pull on some swimming trunks and then we were out in the warm LA sunshine, wandering down the street towards the beach.

"Smoothies" Joey said, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the shop halfway to the beach.

"Chill out" I laughed.

I watched Joey fumble with some American dollars, the green paper causing a grin on my face as I watched.

"What?" Joey asked.

"We're abroad"

"Yeah…"

"Just sunk in I guess" I replied. "Thanks for letting me come"

"Well hopefully this trip is productive. For both of us"

"Hmm Yes" I nodded turning to order my smoothie.

Once we'd gotten our drinks we headed back out into the sunshine. My breath was taken away with how pretty the ocean was. The blue water was sparkly in the LA sun, and the sand was bright white. Tan people were biking and skating past us as we dodged across a pathway and our toes sunk into the sand.

"Lemme kick my sandals off" I giggled, slipping them off and grabbing them in my hands. The warm sand between my toes, a grin spreading across my face.

"You happy?" Joey asked.

"So happy"

He flashed me a bright smile, chucking his empty smoothie cup in the bin. "Wanna try the water?"

"Sure" I replied getting rid of my empty cup as well.

We wandered down to the water, our feet being gently washed over by the waves.

"Damn it's cold!" I laughed, jumping when the water first made it up to my calves.

"I told you!"

"Sort of" I scolded "You were kinda vague"

"Whatever…" Joey smirked, leaning down and touching the water with his hand.

"Don't you dare splash me!" I squealed pointing my finger at him.

"I wouldn't…"

"Yeah right!"

"You're daring me now" Joey said with a flirty smile on his face.

I couldn't help but smile back, screeching loudly when I was splashed with water.

"Joey" I laughed, splashing him back.

Before I knew it we were in a huge splash fight, the pair of us drenched in freezing cold ocean water.

"Joe!" I laughed again, watching as he lunged at me and picked me up. He had me cradled to his chest, his heartbeat thudding loud and his hands holding me tight. My heart felt like it was in my throat as the pair of us froze… his eyes were locked on mine and for a spit second I thought I recognised them.

But maybe I made it up?

"Sorry" Joey whispered, quickly setting me down.

I stood in the water for a second just staring at him.

"I really shouldn't have…" he started.

"Why did you stop?"

"What?"

"I was having fun"

"I thought it was too much" he said, "Since… you know"

"Don't do that"

"I don't want to rush you, or freak you out" he said, starting to go back towards the sand.

I watched as his shoulders hunched, clearly disappointed in the situation and probably himself. I shook my head quickly, swearing at myself for not remembering anything, I really wanted to. It would make everything easier.

Chasing after Joey, I grabbed my sandals off the beach and slipped my hand into his.

"Don't stop" I said "Just go with the flow. Please? For me?"

"Ok" he sighed, squeezing my hand gently, "Only for you"

With a soft smile I leant my head against his shoulder for a moment, talking in the view if the LA beach one last time.

Releasing my hand, Joey wrapped his arm around my shoulders, holding me tight against him.

This was what I'd always wanted… now I just needed to remember how I'd gotten it.

* * *

**This is the last part for tonight, Back tomorrow :)**

**R&R**


	22. Chapter 22

A few days later and we'd fallen into the swing of our LA lifestyle. Sometimes I went with Joey to the stuff he had to do, other days I wandered around by myself or sat at the desk in the front room of the apartment and drew away. I hunted around for clues about my life all the while, trying to figure out who I'd become these last few years.

So…"Joey said, sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen.

"Yeah?"

"I've got this thing tonight…"

"A thing?"

"Yeah I'm going to look at how busy this new club gets , and scope out the staff and see how they handle the night ."

"Ok."

"Just letting you know that it'll be a late night for me."

"Can I come?" I asked.

"You want to come?" Joey grinned.

"I mean, I know clubs aren't really my thing at the moment, but, I don't have to go, it might just be good to do," I said with a shrug.

"You can come," Joey said, "I don't mind. As long as you want to be there you're always welcome to come with me."

"You're sure?"

"Course!" he smiled.

"Ok."

"I've got to come back to get ready after this meeting so we can go over together," Joey said.

"Good," I replied, "I don't really want to go over by myself!"

He winked at me, grabbing his things as he headed out the door. I spent the day playing through a pile of portfolios that I'd left in LA, most of the stuff unfinished ideas I'd jotted down

As it pushed into late afternoon I wandered into the main bedroom, digging through the wardrobe for something to wear out. I settled on the pretty red lace dress Joey had insisted on buying for me. Now was as good a time as any, right?

I put the dress on the back of the bedroom door and then slipped on my shoes, wandering down to the grocery store round the corner from the apartment. After purchasing some food to make dinner and a bunch of flowers to brighten up the apartment I headed back, ready to whip up dinner for Joey and I.

"Now do we have a vase…" I said, opening cupboards in the kitchen.

Leaning up on my tiptoes I tried the cupboard above the sink, a sparkly glint catching my eye as I did.

"Hmm…" I muttered, grabbing down the vase I'd found and going to inspect the little shelf above the sink. In a bright blue shot glass was a ring.

I took the ring out and inspected it. To be honest it sort of reminded me of my wedding band, but it was a lot thinner and less intricate. Setting it back in the shot glass I decided to wait until Joey got home to see if I could get the story behind the ring

Cobbling a few things together in a roasting dish I put dinner in the oven, heading off for a shower and then combing and drying my long brown hair.

"Lauren?!" a voice called out as I pulled on some underwear and wrapped myself in a dressing gown.

"Coming!"

I wandered out into the main room where Joey was dropping his bag and kicking off his shoes.

"Um interesting attire," he said.

"I'm getting ready!" I scoffed, "It's not like I'm naked!"

"Still…" he teased.

I rolled my eyes at him, wandering into the kitchen. The apartment had an open floor plan, the breakfast bar of the kitchen serving as the only real divider between spaces. I checked the food quick and then grabbed out the things I'd bought to make a quick salad, throwing them together in a bowl.

"So you're still planning on coming?" Joey asked.

"Yeah," I said, "I'm gonna wear that red dress you got me."

"I was going to suggest that," Joey said, grabbing a bottle of wine out of the fridge and pouring out two glasses of icy white.

"I actually wanted to ask you something," I said, grabbing the shot glass from the shelf above the sink and pouring the ring into my hand, holding it open for Joey to see, "Do you know this ring?"

"Holy shit where did you find that?" Joey asked with a shocked expression.

"In this shot glass, on the shelf above the sink there," I shrugged, holding out the glass.

"It's probably good you can't remember losing it," Joey said, "Or you'd be kicking yourself big time."

"What do you mean?"

"This is your promise ring!" he said, "You lost it the last time we were here and then tore the place apart. You were so mad when you lost it, and I tried to offer to replace it but you weren't having it!"

"Oh yeah, you said…"

"I'm glad you found it" Joey grinned, taking it from me, "It means a lot"

"Yeah?"

"Sure, how about you serve up the food and I'll finish the salad, then I'll tell you about when I gave it to you"

"Ok" I grinned, going to grab the food out of the oven.

Over dinner Joey told me about my first trip to LA, telling me about how he took me down to the same beach we'd gone on our first day of this trip and given me the promise ring.

"It's sort of fitting that we went to that beach the other day, and that you found this ring."

"Why?" I asked.

"It's your first trip to LA again"

I grinned across the table at him, still in my dressing gown. I was feeling less and less awkward around him and more and more like we were really a married couple.

"It's pretty" I said, slipping the ring on my right hand and expecting it. It fit perfectly and looked like it belonged on my right hand.

"You were really mad when you lost it"

"Well I'm glad I found it" I said. "Thanks for telling me the story"

"Course" Joey said. "How long is it going to take you to get ready? We should probably get a taxi in about an hour or so"

"That's plenty of time" I said, picking up our plates, "Go get yourself showered."

"Kay…" Joey said, standing up from the table.

I watched him start off down the hall and then he stopped turning back towards me.

"You ok?..."

"Going with the flow" he said, pecking my lips quickly before turning back towards the bedroom without another word.

I felt my cheeks blush red as the bedroom door shut, but not in an awkward way. More in a, really flattered and wanting more way.

* * *

Holding my hand tightly in his own, Joey led me into the club he was checking out. We made our way past the bar and up the stairs to a quiet table in the corner. After we had found a place to sit Joey disappeared to get us some drinks.

The club was filling up quickly It was on a raised tier above the main floor of the club. I sat and carefully eyed up the crowd,

"Hey! Pretty girl! Why you alone?" a voice called down from the floor.

I ignored it, my eyes trained on the bar.

"Pretty girl!" the voice called again

"I'm married!" I shouted back, thankful that I actually was.

"Who cares? Come dance!"

"Leave me alone!"

I finally spotted the guy, he was a burly dude with an unshaven face. Not really my type.

"Come down!" he called again, just as Joey slipped out of nowhere and over to the table I was sitting at.

"What's going on?" Joey asked, as he arrived back with a beer and a cocktail in his hands.

"That guy is shouting at me."

"Why?"

"I think he thinks he's hitting on me…" I said, as Joey slid in next to me.

"Do you want me to go beat him up?" Joey teased, his arm going protectively around my shoulders as he looked down at the club floor.

"No, just don't leave me again tonight,"

"I won't," Joey said into my ear, the music starting to pump loudly.

* * *

Before I knew it a round of shots was being placed in front of us, as well as a fresh round of cocktails.

"Just have one," Joey said, as I stared at the shot placed before me, "I promise I'll keep my eye on you."

"I don't want to be sick…"

"You'll be fine!"

I took the small glass in my hand, carefully I clinked my glass with the group and downed it, pulling a face as the tequila went down my throat.

"Nasty Joe!"

"Delicious," he grinned, picking up his drink and having a sip.

"Now don't interpret this as me letting loose or something," I scolded, "I'm not here to get plastered."

"Mmm hmm, yup," Joey replied off-handedly, blatantly disregarding what I said

* * *

"Wanna dance?" Joey asked me after a while.

"I don't know…"

"Just one, it'll be fun!"

I heaved a deep sigh and let him drag me out of the booth, finding a corner of the dance floor. Carefully Joey put his hands round my waist, leaving a good distance between us as I put my arms around his neck.

"You better not be trying to put the moves on," I told Joey as we swayed from side to side.

"What moves?"

"I don't know… I've already been hit on once."

"Yeah well, I'd kick that guy's ass for you."

"Aww thanks," I teased, laughing lightly.

It seemed that Joey didn't really need to put the moves on, as it got later into the night I was feeling a lusty attraction rise between us, something I hadn't quite experienced with him before. Yeah he was my husband… yeah we'd kissed… we shared a bed most nights now… but we still hadn't done much of anything. That still seemed weird to me. But this night, it didn't seem so weird. It seemed like the right thing to do.

"My feet hurt," I moaned as a new song started.

"Girls and heels," Joey sighed, leading me back to the table.

"I thought they'd look nice!" I defended, "Don't you like them?"

"Oh I like them…" he grinned, trailing off into some mumble I couldn't hear and sitting down next to me. Our knees were touching under the table and I was practically sitting on top of him. I don't think he realized though, this was normal for him.

I turned to flash Joey a smile at his comment, only to stop when I realized how close we were actually sitting to each other.

"You ok?" Joey whispered to me.

Nodding my head gently I felt that lust start to brew again, causing me to lean up and press my lips against his, my hand falling to his chest as it grabbed some of his shirt.

Keeping with the 'going with the flow' Joey kissed me back, his arm wrapping around my neck as he pulled me closer to him.

Feeling cheeky I pressed my tongue into his mouth, hearing an almost inaudible groan as his arm pulled me just slightly closer. It was so right, so perfect, to be kissing him like this, I wondered why I had refrained from doing it sooner.

But then he pushed me away slightly, our lips parting.

"Joe?"

"That's enough for now," he said, taking a deep breath.

"What?"

"If we go any further I won't be able to stop tonight," he said seriously.

"Oh."

"Sorry… Just being truthful."

"No, that's good to know," I said awkwardly, picking up my almost empty cup and taking a sip. It was all just melted ice and tasted terrible, but I needed a distraction.

"I'm sorry."

"No you're right," I said, "I don't want to go too fast and definitely not that far. Tonight, at least," I added awkwardly.

"We'll get there," Joey said.

"We're getting there," I smiled, patting his knee slightly as I slid an inch or so away from him.

Things after that were sort of a wash. It was now awkward between Joey and I, as I let out my first yawn of the night Joey slid out of the booth, declaring it was time to go home.

"We can stay!" I laughed.

"You're tired, time to go."

I gave him a weird look, following him out of the club and into a waiting cab. We were back at the apartment in a matter of minutes, Joey going off to put his pyjamas on as I fixed a glass of water.

"Are you ok?" I asked Joey as he reappeared in sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"Fine."

"You seem jumpy."

"I'm fine," he said, getting his own glass of water.

"Listen, about that kiss… I really didn't hate it."

"I know. I just want to do this right you know. It's weird for me too. It's like, I'm kissing you and it feels totally normal. We've done it a million times you know… but you're not you. You don't remember it all, so it's new for you. That's really weird for me."

"I get that."

"I love you Lauren, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to stay with you, no matter what happens. But I need to take time to adjust too."

"You should have just said," I replied, "I'm in no hurry. And I'm not going anywhere."

Instead of responding, Joey gave me a tight hug, releasing me so I could go get ready for bed.

After the lights were switched out and we were both under the covers, I twisted around and smiled at Joey in the faint moonlight that was bathing our room. "Night Joe, you were great tonight," I whispered.

"Thanks for coming," he replied.

"Course," I smiled, leaning forward and brushing my lips quickly against his again, "Night," I repeated, twisting back around so I was facing away from him.

"Night," he replied, his hands snaking around my waist as he carefully spooned me. The first time he'd ever done this.

I guess a kiss went a long way with both of us.

* * *

**Only one part for tonight sorry, as the drama starts next chapter **

**Back tomorrow **

**R&R**


	23. Chapter 23

I woke up the next morning to a strange sensation… a slight pressure against the base of my back.

"Oh god," I giggled, burying my face in the duvet as I tried to slide away from Joey.

"Hmm…" Joey yawned, moving his hand off my waist slightly, "Oh fuck! Sorry!" he said startled, practically springing away from me.

I couldn't help but burst out laughing at the situation, wheezing slightly as I tried to mask it.

"Stop! I'm embarrassed," Joey said.

"Well I'm flattered," I laughed, watching him jump out of bed and scurry into the en suite. I couldn't help but let out one last laugh as the shower switched on.

I mean seriously. I knew we were married and we did stuff, but this had never happened between us. Or Joey was really good at hiding it.

In an effort to ease the tension I pulled on a dressing gown and went to the kitchen, making cheese omelettes and some toast.

"This is an, 'I'm Sorry for Laughing at You' breakfast," I giggled when Joey came into the kitchen ten minutes later.

"You're being so mean!"

"I'm not trying to," I defended, "It's just so awkward that I'm getting the giggles."

Joey flushed red as he poured a glass of orange juice, the colour apparent all the way up to the tips of his ears.

"If it helps at all, I thought it was sweet," I joked.

"Stop!" Joey groaned, a small smile starting to play on his lips.

"What… I'm glad you think about your wife that way. At least I hope you were thinking about your wife!"

"I was…" Joey trailed off.

It was my turn for my cheeks to burn red, and soon I was retreating to the bedroom to get ready for the day. Things had taken a turn for the too much too fast and I needed to take a deep breath.

"Lauren!" Joey called, "I'm going to check on the club!"

"Ok!" I shouted back, coming out to the kitchen.

"What are you going to do today?"

"Drawing for a bit and then probably go lay at the pool."

"Sounds good," Joey said, smiling awkwardly before backing his way to the door and practically running out of the flat.

I couldn't help but burst out laughing again as soon as I was left alone. It was all so absurd and weird to think that something so normal for a couple like us was actually really awkward right now. I can only imagine what would have actually occurred if I had my memory and we were living in our perfect little bubble.

That morning I tried to work on a sketch, sitting at the desk with a pencil in my hand. The problem was, I was stuck. Really stuck. In fact, ever since the accident I hadn't been able to draw something worth writing about. All I had were little scribbles. It was so frustrating.

After a sandwich I pulled on a bikini and went out to the pool, taking a book and my phone so I could listen to music. The LA sun was hot and intense, and I really wanted to get a good tan going before we left.

I was out there for about an hour and a half when a shadow fell over me, a girl sitting at the chair next to me.

"I heard you guys were here, it's been awhile," she said.

"Hi!" I said quickly, pulling out my ear buds and eyeing her up. Joey had tried to teach me about my LA friends, and the one with the curly blonde hair was… Karen! "How are you?" I smiled.

"Great," she replied, "Mind if I sit next to you?"

"Sure, I'm heading in soon though," I said. I didn't want to be around her to long in case she caught wind of things. Joey said we were only mild acquaintances and I wasn't comfortable letting her in on my little secret.

"Looks like you made up with Joey then," Karen said.

"Sorry?" I asked, confused. Why would I need to make up with him? According to him things were perfect.

"You know, that big blowout over the pregnancy test."

"Oh right," I lied, my heartbeat picking up. This was all news to me!

"I could not believe you actually left a week early," Karen said off-handedly, "Must have been some fight."

"It was a bit nasty," I lied, not sure what I was talking about.

"But it seems like all is forgiven now and you're back with your man."

"Yup," I smiled awkwardly.

I watched Karen lean back into her sun lounger, spreading her tanned LA legs out in front of her. As obviously as I could I checked the time on my phone, giving her a crooked smile as I jumped up from my chair and went inside.

I needed answers, and I needed them fast.

Making my way straight to the en suite I started digging through drawers and cupboards, looking for any evidence of this supposed pregnancy test. I was about to give up when I found a paper bag shoved in the back of the linen closet, an unopened test and a receipt inside.

"What the fuck?" I muttered, inspecting the receipt. There were multiple tests on it, and I knew just from reading the receipt that I'd taken the missing ones.

I knew I couldn't bother Joey at the club, but I was dying to know what the hell Karen was talking about. Why hadn't I heard about a pregnancy test? Hell… did I have a kid that I didn't know about? What wasn't Joey telling me?

I was starting to get pretty riled up, pacing the front room in my sundress and bikini, when the door swung open and Joey came in.

"I thought you were going to be at the pool?" he said, taking in my wrangled look.

"We need to talk," I said.

"Um, sure…"

"What the hell is this about a pregnancy test?" I asked, jumping straight to the point, "About a huge fight? About me leaving LA a week early? I thought you said everything between us was perfect!"

"Um…" Joey said awkwardly, avoiding eye contact.

"Joey!"

"So… I may have exaggerated a few things," he said slowly.

"You're kidding right?"

"I didn't think it would hurt," he shrugged, trying to pull an innocent look.

I stared at him for a minute before turning and sitting down on the sofa. "Sit. And tell me the truth."

"And here I thought I was going to walk into more teasing about this morning," Joey sighed, running his hand over the top of his short hair.

"I'm not messing around."

"Sorry," he said, sitting in the arm chair to the side of me.

"Do I have some kid I don't know about somewhere out there?" I asked, going straight to the point.

"No."

"Then what the hell is this about a pregnancy test?" I asked.

"You took one, but it was negative."

"When?"

"Last time we were here," Joey said.

"Which was?"

"About a month before the accident. You weren't feeling well and the signs all kind of pointed towards maybe you being pregnant so we got some tests. But like I said, it was negative."

"So then we fought?" I asked, trying to understand what the hell Karen had been talking about.

"It was tense yeah…" Joey said, not giving much away.

"Joey I need to know what happened. I'm trying to remember my life and there are clearly huge gaps in the stories I've been told."

"Yeah we had a big fight," Joey said, "We were supposed to be here for two weeks and the test happened on the first night we were here. The few days after that were really tense, we didn't talk a lot and we sort of avoided any contact at all. I guess after like a week it came to a head and we both just blew up. It wasn't even really a fight about anything; we were both just in need of letting off some steam. We said things we probably regret. I know I do."

"And then I left?"

"You said you needed some space away from me," Joey said, "So you went home a week early."

"Then what? Did we make up?" Joey stared at the floor, not answering my question. "Joe!"

"No," he mumbled.

"What do you mean no?"

"I came home and things were still pretty tense," he said, "For like two weeks it was like walking on egg shells. I'd spend all my time at work and you'd spend all your time shut away in the Conservatory with your art."

"And then?"

"Your accident."

"Right," I said, "Why didn't you tell me that we weren't really in a good place?"

"I wanted you to trust me," Joey said, "I didn't want you to think that you were trapped living with a guy you hated or something."

"I didn't hate you did I?"

"It doesn't matter," Joey said, "What matters is getting you back to where you were. And that you're happy."

His answer didn't really give me much information, but I could tell he didn't want to talk about it. Maybe I had told him I hated him?

"I don't get it though? You wanted me to trust you so you lied to me?" I asked.

"I didn't lie…" Joey said, "I just didn't give you the full truth I guess. Things really were perfect between us up until the pregnancy test."

"Joe," I sighed, my head starting to hurt from all of this, "Not telling the truth is the same as lying."

"I mean…" he started, stopping abruptly.

I heaved a deep breath, not sure what the hell was going on. It seemed this perfect life I was apparently leading wasn't so perfect after all, and that made me really scared. What if I had made the wrong decision in staying with Joey? What if we really weren't meant to be like he had said?

"I'm going to go lie down," I said.

"Lauren…"

"I just need to think about this," I said, "And my head is starting to hurt a bit."

"Babe!"

"We'll talk about it later."

"Please," Joey said, watching me wander down the hall. I crawled into the bed in the main room, not really sure I wanted to be there. Maybe it would be better if I went to the spare? My head hurt too much to care about it so I pulled the duvet over my head and scrunched my eyes shut tight.

None of this made sense to me. I'd been living with the guy for months, and all of a sudden a few passing comments by a random acquaintance and things were blowing up between us? What was really going on here?

I tried my hardest to fall asleep but my mind was spinning, my head starting to throb more and more. I didn't like it. At all.

As the sun went down Joey knocked lightly on the door, dinner ready in the kitchen.

"I'm not hungry!" I mumbled, the duvet over my face as the light of the hallway made my head scream with pain.

"Babe you've got to eat."

"Not hungry!" I said.

"Don't be stubborn about what I told you," Joey said, "I'm here now, supporting you through all of this. Let's just forget about that for now."

"Joe, I'm not hungry because my head is screaming in pain," I replied, "I don't care about all that right now."

"What?" he asked, coming over to the bed.

"Just let me sleep."

He peeled the duvet back and looked at me for a second, his hand feeling my forehead. "You don't have a fever."

"Joe…" I moaned.

"Hang on," he said, disappearing for a minute. He came back with his phone, frantically scrolling through something. "Shit I thought so…"

"What?"

"We gotta get you to hospital," he said, not giving me any more information.

* * *

**So I was going to split this into two parts but I couldn't be that mean. Please don't hate me for the cliffhanger, I'll be back later. Promise.**

**R&R**


	24. Chapter 24

"Joe I don't need the hospital," I said, swatting him away.

"Babe, your doctor said…" he started, reading from his phone, "If you experience any prolonged headaches that you should go in for a check-up."

"Joe this is hardly serious."

"A couple of months ago you experienced a traumatic head injury!" he argued, "You can't even remember who you were then or what is going on in your life! What if this is related to that?"

"What?!" I said, my voice trembling slightly, "You're starting to scare me now."

"Why don't we just go get you looked at," Joey said, "Then we'll know."

"Well I'm not going to be able to sleep now," I groaned.

"Sorry!"

I pulled the covers over my head again, scrunching my eyes. Now Joey had me terrified that something was seriously wrong with me, and I really hated that feeling.

I heard him bustling about, packing a few things in a bag for me. I was still in my bikini and sundress and I knew he was packing me overnight stuff just in case. "Oh weird," I heard him mutter, a soft thud on the floor.

"What?"

"Later," he said, "Let's get going."

I heaved a deep sigh and slipped out of bed. The room was spinning a bit with how much my head hurt, but I tried my best to ignore it. In fact, I was ignoring pretty much everything right now, including the fact things weren't quite what they seemed with Joey.

We went out to the rental car, and Joey plugged the name of one of the recommended hospitals we'd been given into his phone.

"I knew something like this was going to happen," he muttered, "We should have never left London."

"I'm glad we came," I said defiantly, leaning my head against the cool window.

"Lauren…"

"We'll talk later."

"Ok fine," Joey sighed, pulling the car onto the highway.

As we drove through LA traffic the panging in my head got worse and worse. It was in one distinct place and I felt like it was going to explode, so much so that little tears started to streak down my cheeks.

"Hey don't cry."

"It fucking hurts!" I snapped.

"Sorry!" Joey said, taking my hand in his and squeezing it gently.

I tried to keep an open mind about things, even though I was annoyed with him. To be honest it was soothing, probably the only thing that was distracting me enough from the pain in my head. But still.

We eventually got to the hospital and went straight to the Emergency Department. Joey was doing all the talking and I sat to the side in a hard plastic chair, my eyes closed as I tried to keep the tears away.

"Come on Lauren," Joey said quietly, causing me to open my eyes, "We're going to go see a specialist."

"A specialist?"

"One of the recommended physicians from your doctor in London."

"Ok," I sighed, taking his hand as he led me to the hallway.

We went down a few long corridors and were soon being greeted by an older man in a white coat. "Lauren Branning, your case has been very interesting to follow."

"You follow me?" I groaned, sitting down in a chair the doctor was gesturing towards.

"In my profession, cases like yours are always worth following," he said, "Now tell me what is going on."

I explained to him about my headache, pointing to where it was bothering me and trying to keep a calm face as he prodded my head gently.

"Let's do a scan and see if there is anything going on," the doctor said.

I shot Joey a terrified look, but followed the doctor down the hall to the MRI machine. It was pretty scary to be in such an enclosed space, the machine whirring around my head as it took in a scan.

After the scan was over I sat with Joey in the examining room, shaking slightly as I waited for the verdict on my scan.

"You're going to be ok," Joey whispered, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry I was cross with you earlier," I whispered.

"Hey let's worry about this tomorrow."

"Just wanted you to know."

"Thanks," Joey replied, kissing my head gently.

The doctor came back in with the results of the scan a small frown on his face.

"Oh god, I'm dying aren't I?" I asked.

"You're not dying," the doctor smiled, "But it does appear you've got some slight swelling at the point of impact."

"What does that mean?"

"The point where you hit your head is reacting," the doctor said, "It's actually a good sign for you, it means that it's healing itself. New brain tissues are growing and the bruising is going away. It's a good thing, but it will cause some discomfort."

"Like this massive headache."

"Exactly."

"Can she come home tonight?" Joey said, "Or are you going to keep her?"

"There's nothing to indicate that we need to keep her. This is a perfectly normal reaction."

"Good!" Joey grinned, rubbing my shoulder gently.

"My one request is that Lauren, you relax for the next few days. No high-energy activity, try to avoid heavy stimulation like bright lights or loud noises. It will only aggravate the pain. I'll also prescribe you a painkiller to help out as well. And a sleeping pill."

"Thanks," I smiled.

When we got home Joey helped me to the bedroom where I changed into my pyjamas and got ready for bed. I tried to eat a bowl of cereal so I could take a painkiller with it, but I really didn't have the appetite for food at all.

"Let's get you to bed," Joey said quietly.

"Ok," I replied, "It's been a hell of a day. Remember how it started?" I teased, only to receive a massive eye roll from Joey. Slipping off the stool and heading to the bedroom, I let out a tiny giggle trying to lighten the day even though I was still in large amounts of pain.

"Hey Lauren," Joey said, following after me.

"Yeah?" I asked, turning around.

"Come here," he said, pulling me into a hug. I felt my body relax into his grip. "The revelations today probably weren't things you wanted to hear, but I need you to know that I was never going to let that situation end what we have. I love you more than anything, ok?"

"Ok," I said, hugging him tighter.

"Now get some sleep and we'll talk some more tomorrow."

"Sounds good," I said, slipping out of his grip. "Oh and Joe… I know this is weird to say, but I love you too."

I watched his face scrunch up as he heard what I said, his hands pulling me back into him and hugging me tight. I knew he was crying, but I didn't say anything, my sore head leaning against his shoulder gently.

No matter what happened between us, what fighting was going on in our past life, he really was my soulmate. He'd been here for me, helping me through this whole mess of a situation. And in that moment I knew I had to get my shit together and start remembering things. For him.

* * *

**I might be back for 2 more updates tonight, if not 2 definitely 1**


	25. Chapter 25

"Morning Lauren," Joey whispered as I turned over in bed and opened my eyes. He was lying there, fully dressed and looking at me expectantly.

"Is it still morning?" I asked.

"Barely. Eleven forty-five."

"God," I sighed, yawning slightly, "Why are you still here?"

"Took the day off to make sure you were doing ok," he replied, "How's the head?"

"Still hurts a bit, but not nearly as bad as yesterday. I think I'll manage."

"That's good."

"You don't have to take the day off," I said, looking over at Joey.

"Not trying to stir up more trouble, but I thought I should be here."

"Oh. Right."

"Let me go make breakfast and then we'll get this talk out of the way? Move on?"

"Yeah, thanks," I sighed, pulling the duvet to my chin as I stretched out.

To be honest I had no idea what he was going to say, or really what was going on anymore. Apparently we'd been bitterly fighting before my accident, which was news to me since Joey made it seem like things were rosy and perfect.

After a cup of coffee and some pancakes I sat on one of the sofas in the front room, still in my pyjamas and anxiously awaiting Joey's explanation.

"I didn't rehearse anything," he said nervously.

"Ok…"

"I guess I want you to know that I was never going to let things get so horrible that we'd break up," he said.

"You told me that last night."

"I know, but I just wanted to reiterate."

"Right."

"I think…" he started, his eyes trained on the floor, "Our whole fight was over nothing."

"Ok…"

"We both said when we got married that we wanted to wait a few years before we thought about starting a family," he explained, "Enjoy each other's company and everything. And then this whole pregnancy thing came about and we both shut down a bit. I think we both secretly wanted it to be positive but were too afraid to say anything to the other."

"What?" I asked, sliding forward in my seat as he explained.

"I know it sounds a bit out there, but that's how I felt. I so wanted it to be positive and then when it wasn't I was so disappointed. But I didn't know what to say to you, because we'd agreed to wait. I didn't want to freak you out so I just kept it all internal. And then things sort of blew up."

"And we started fighting."

"The fights started because we were avoiding each other, avoiding the conversation if that makes sense."

"Sure."

"And then it just spiralled out of control," Joey sighed, "The day of the accident was the absolute worst."

"Why?" I asked, "What did I say?"

"Nothing," Joey shrugged nonchalantly, "It was just awful because I knew I didn't want to be fighting with you. You're my soulmate Lauren, and when I found out you'd been hurt I was literally freaking out. I didn't want to lose you knowing our last words weren't maybe the nicest. It was so awful."

"You said…"

"It was the worst day of my life. And I vowed then that no matter what it took I was going to fix this and get it back to normal," he sighed, "But then the memory thing."

"Hey you're doing well."

"I don't' know…"

"I'm going to get my memory back," I said, touching his knee gently, "We've both said that it's bound to happen, and from what the doctor said yesterday my body is reacting positively."

"It's just been so long," Joey sighed, "I want you to remember everything so badly."

"I'm trying."

"I'm not trying to make you feel lesser or whatever, I just really want you to be on the same page as me, to remember everything."

"Joey, I promise you I'll get my memory back."

As I said this I watched Joey smile faintly, his fingers twitching slightly as they tried to figure out what to do.

"I found something yesterday."

"What?" I asked, watching him get up suddenly and go to the bedroom. Seconds later he was back with two books in his hand, "What are these?"

"More sketch pads," Joey said

"Really?"

"They were in one of your bags. I think you left it here the last time we came, probably not on purpose."

I flipped through one of the pads, smiling as I saw it full of bright sketches of our time in LA on the pages. When I got to the end I opened the second sketch pad, surprised to see mostly blank pages.

"You haven't finished that one yet."

"Clearly," I said, stopping on a page with lots of scribbles and cross outs, "This is really dark."

"Yeah well, we were fighting," Joey said, "And you always said that the sketches sort of reflected our relationship."

"I must have been pretty annoyed," I laughed, showing him a page that was practically black.

"Like I said, I think it was nothing," Joey said, "You were secretly mad at me for not wanting a baby and I was mad at you for the same. But because we never talked we were just mad for no reason."

"Well, I know I'm not in any right state to defend my feelings or anything, but I've got to think you're probably right," I said.

"And there's not much we can do about it now," Joey concluded.

"No."

"Can I ask just one thing?" he said.

"About what I said last night?"

"Yeah. Did you mean it?"

"I know this has been a total rollercoaster and we're still trying to figure out where we stand with one another, but I do love you Joe. You've stood by me and taken care of me and dealt with my bullshit. I can't ask for anything more."

"I loved hearing that," Joey sighed, stretching out in his chair. I flashed him a kind smile and then stood up from the sofa.

"Now let's see if these sketches will give me any memories," I said, going over to the desk. I set up the books in order, starting with book two which I'd brought over from London. I needed to see it all in one. Or what there was at least.

"We need book one," Joey sighed, as I finished, "It's not complete without it."

"I know, but how do we get it?"

"No idea," Joey said, "I guess I can call around to your old school and see if they have it anywhere. Maybe you turned in a copy? We'll get to the bottom of it, as a team. We'll find the missing piece of the puzzle and get your memory back."

It sounded crazy, that this book of sketches was the key to everything, but with how things were going maybe it was?

Joey and I spent the day in the apartment, going through books, making phone calls, and sending emails. Somehow this sketch had become some sort of symbolic key to my memory, the pair of us determined to find it somehow.

"I'm sorry Joe," I sighed, "My head hurts too much to keep this up."

"Go rest," he replied, his laptop on his lap, "I'll send a few more emails."

"Don't stress out too much over this," I sighed, patting his shoulder as I passed him, "Another day isn't going to change much anymore."

"Just trying to help," he said.

I went into the bedroom and climbed into bed, my head really starting to hurt again. I knew the doctor said it was normal, but I was seriously hating it at the moment.

Fifteen minutes later the door clicked open and Joey slipped in, "Mind if I join you?" he asked as I caught his eye, "I didn't sleep much last night."

"Why not?"

"Worried," he shrugged.

"Climb in."

I watched him wander to his side of the bed and pull up the duvet, slipping into bed next to me. Grimacing as my head throbbed again I twisted around to look at him, his brown eyes staring right at me.

"Is this really hard for you?" I asked him quietly.

"You've asked me that before," he said.

"I know, but things are different now."

"A little," he said, "There's limits right now, whereas before there really weren't. While when we weren't fighting."

"What would we have done on a day like today? Before I mean?"

"Well…" Joey started, his eyes looking towards the ceiling.

"Be honest."

"I don't want it to sound awkward."

"I'm curious," I prodded, "Tell me in as much detail as possible." Joey rolled his eyes as I said that, knowing I didn't actually want to hear all the detail.

"We probably would have slept in," Joey said, "And then had a leisurely shower…."

"Together?"

"Probably," he smirked.

"Ok," I said quietly. I sort of had caught on that we were pretty open with each other, and that sort of thing would have been really normal for us. But I still wasn't ready to ask more questions than that.

"And then we would have walked down the street to get some sort of lunch or breakfast, depending on the day and time."

"Why depending on the day and time?" I asked.

"Americans love brunch," Joey said, "But they really only eat it on the weekends."

"Brunch? Like breakfast for lunch?"

"Yeah. We both love it."

"It sounds awesome," I said.

"And they usually have bottomless drinks," Joey smirked, "On more than one occasion we took advantage of that to our detriment."

I laughed as he said that, intrigued by the idea. "Will you take me for brunch while we're here?"

"Course!"

"Ok, then what?" I asked with a smile, plodding on.

"Then we probably would have lain by the pool for a while. A bit drunk mind you. And then we would have had an afternoon siesta. Then gone for a meal somewhere romantic and quiet."

"Yeah?"

"Before things blew up we were really good just the two of us," Joey said, "I know you don't want to hear my exaggerations, but it's true. We could spend days together and not get bored."

"That's impressive."

"On our honeymoon we spent two entire weeks together, hardly talking to anyone but each other, and when we were done we came straight back here to LA and were crammed in a tiny hotel room and got on fine," Joey said, "Although, that's when you put your foot down and said we should buy a place."

"Why?"

"You were tired of coming here with me and getting some impersonal hotel," he said, "You wanted somewhere comfortable and familiar since you spent so much time at home sketching while I was at work."

"So we got this place?"

"It took some convincing on your part but yeah."

"I like it, it's a good investment."

"You're right," Joey said, "And we let friends and family use it when we aren't here. It sits empty a lot, but we get enough time out of it."

"And it was super nice to arrive and have some of my stuff here. Not that I remember the stuff, but there was a drawer full of clothes and some art stuff."

"Yeah," Joey said, "It's kind of become a storage locker."

I grinned at him as he said this, comfortable in our conversation. He was totally right, we were really good when it was just the two of us.

"You wanna go for a meal tonight?" Joey asked, "Like another date or something."

"Date night?"

"Yeah."

"Sounds good," I smiled, "I am going to sleep now though."

"It's early yet," Joey said, "Sleep to your heart's content."

I grinned at him, slipping a hand around his waist and cuddling into his chest. It was warm and comfortable to lay with him, and soon he'd wrapped an arm around me too, the pair of us drifting off to sleep.

A good two hours later Joey woke me up. "If we don't get up now we're going to totally throw off our sleep schedule."

"Yeah," I groaned sitting up, "I'm starving."

"Get dressed and we can go find dinner," Joey said, "I have an idea."

* * *

**Back later with the date :)**


	26. Chapter 26

"Ok," I smiled, slipping out of Joeys' grip and leaning up on my elbow, "Gonna give me a hint?"

"Nope, just get dressed and we'll go."

"Fine!"

I jumped out of bed and went to my half of the wardrobe, pulling out a loose vest top and some shorts. I went into the bathroom to pull them on, adding a touch of make up and running a brush through my hair so I didn't look quite so homeless.

"Ok, ready," I said to Joey. He was sitting in the kitchen with his phone, and as soon as I came out he jumped off the stool he was on and slipped his shoes on.

"Let's go," he said, opening the front door.

I followed him out into the heat, grabbing his hand as we walked down the outdoor staircase and around the pool to the sidewalk.

Joey led me down the street towards the beach, turning a corner right before we got to the beach walk. "Here," he said, pulling a door open for me.

We were met by a hostess who already had our names, and then led up some stairs, a rooftop terrace overlooking the beach walk with tables our final destination.

"This is fab," I said, pulling down my sunglasses over my eyes.

"It'll get better as the sun sets," Joey said.

"How romantic," I giggled.

He flashed me a cheeky wink, taking a menu from a waiter as water was poured out for us. I looked out at the water again, the sun starting to droop lower and lower in the sky.

"What's good here?" I asked Joey.

"Fish tacos."

"Fish tacos?" I asked, pulling a face.

"Don't knock it till you try it," he said, "You like them."

"Are you tricking me again?" I teased.

"No…" Joey said, holding his hands up in the air in defense, "I promise!"

"I'm ordering something else if I don't like them," I said, scanning the menu again.

"Just try them!"

We ordered huge margaritas, chips and salsa, and the fish tacos. It really wasn't the kind of food I would have gone for, but then again it wasn't really something you'd find in London. This was authentic local food.

As the food arrived the sun started to dip below the horizon, bathing us in beautiful reds, oranges, and pinks.

"This is so perfect," I sighed, putting my sunglasses on the top of my head as the light grew dimmer.

"It's a pretty special view," Joey said.

"We've been here before haven't we?" I asked.

"It's sort of our LA place," Joey said, "One of the sketches in your pad is of this view."

"The sunset" I mused

* * *

"Wanna go down to the beach?" Joey asked as we settled up our bill. It was an impossibly warm night, and there was a flurry of activity going on down by the beach walk.

"Yeah," I grinned, following him out of the restaurant.

As we hit the sidewalk he grabbed my hand in his, leading me to the beach walk. We bought huge ice cream cones and then wandered out into the warm sand, plopping down just far enough from the water that we wouldn't get wet if a big wave came in.

"Mmmm… I love this," I said, licking my ice cream. I'd gotten both vanilla and strawberry, piled high on a homemade cone. It was so good.

"Lemme taste yours," Joey said. He had a huge bowl of chocolate and I agreed only if he let me try his too.

"Here," I said, tilting my cone towards him. He licked it once, and then again. "Hey!" I laughed, pushing it in his face a bit as he tried to steal even more.

"That's good!" he laughed.

"Oh god, you've got it all over your face," I giggled, "And of course we didn't get napkins."

"It's ok," Joey grinned.

"I'm not going to be able to look at you without laughing," I said, carefully taking my thumb and wiping the ice cream off his cheek and nose. He smiled at me all the while, biting his lip gently as I ran my finger across his cheek again.

"None of those sexy faces now," I teased, going back to my ice cream.

"Oh. Sorry," Joey mumbled.

I turned to look at him, a nervous furrow in his brow as he focused on his ice cream. Did he think I was being serious? Was I being serious?

"I was teasing," I said, "I think."

"Sorry, I don't know where the boundary is, you know?"

"Yeah, I'm probably not helping much either," I said.

"It's ok."

"Are you like really dying for it right now," I asked after a minute.

"For what?"

"Sex," I choked out, trying not to laugh. I don't know why I wanted to know this but I was curious. It was pushing five months after the accident and if we'd been fighting before… it must have been ages since he'd had any action.

"Lauren," Joey sighed, setting his empty ice cream container in the sand.

"Joey."

"We're not talking about this."

"Come on! Tell me!" I laughed.

"I'm not dying for it…" he said, "But it has certainly been a while. I'm waiting for you to be ready."

"Aww you're so sweet," I teased, leaning my head on his shoulder.

"I'm going to say this once, and I'm going to say it right now. When you get that damn memory back I'm going book the first pair of plane tickets I can find to a hot place and we are not leaving the bedroom for three days. Minimum. Just like our honeymoon."

"Yes sir!" I laughed awkwardly, taken aback by both his forwardness and honesty. All I really knew about our honeymoon is that we'd gone all the way to Bora Bora... but it seemed like we'd also spent a lot of time enjoying the intimacy of being a newly married couple.

"For now, I'm just happy I've still got you by my side," Joey said, "That's enough for me."

"Sweet," I smiled, looking over at him as he played with some sand.

Lifting a hand from behind me I leant forward and placed it on his cheek, pulling his face closer to mine carefully, our eyes locked and shining in the moonlight.

"You're incredible," I whispered, pulling him in for a quick kiss.

"You are too," he sighed, kissing me one more time before letting go and lying back in the sand.

I lay down next to him and stared up at the sky. You couldn't see the stars because of the light pollution in LA, but I knew they were up there. Somewhere. Kinda like my memory.

"I'm proud of you," Joey whispered, taking my hand after a few minutes and holding it against his chest.

"Why?"

"You're trying so hard to figure things out, and you're doing so well with all of the things being thrown at you. I don't know how you do it."

"I've got a pretty awesome guy helping me through it," I giggled.

"Who's that?" Joey laughed, turning his head sharply so he was looking straight at me.

"You silly!" I giggled, wiggling over and kissing him again.

We spent another hour on the beach, laughing and teasing each other, not even noticing other people walking past. But I guess the thing was, when it came down to us we were able to lock ourselves in our own little bubble. I didn't even need my memory to figure that out.

* * *

**Back tomorrow :) **


	27. Chapter 27

"Are you sure you've got everything packed?" Joey worried, pacing at the foot of the bed as I sat and laughed at him.

"Yes Joe! Just relax," I said, "And anyways if I forget anything you can bring it for me in a week."

"I know, I'm just checking," he sighed.

"It'll be fine."

"I can't help but worry," he said, climbing on to the bed next to me and sprawling out, "This is the first time I'm willingly letting you out of my sight since the accident."

"It's only a week," I pointed out, ignoring the little jab he'd made about me trying to leave him. I didn't think it was on purpose.

"A week is a long time," Joey replied.

I'll be with my mum and dad. There is no better place to be if I'm away from you."

"Still…"Joey sighed.

"It's cute that you're so worried," I grinned, lying on the bed next to him.

"I'm gonna miss you," he whispered after a minute, his fingers somehow finding mine blindly, linking our hands together.

"I'll miss you too Joe."

I felt him squeeze my hand gently as a silence fell between us. We both lay there for a while, just thinking. I had no idea what was on Joey's mind, but I knew that I was thinking about what he said, I would miss him. A lot more than I thought I could.

But the truth was, I'd gone and done what he'd off-handedly threatened to do months back… I'd fallen in love with him all over again.

After a few tense days in LA we'd fallen into a happy and comfortable place, getting along better than we had before and enjoying our time together. Joey had taken me all around LA to different sights and restaurants, trying to give me the experience of being a new tourist again. I loved every minute of it. But now it was time for Joey to get busy with actually sorting his club out and for me to head to my parent's across the country for a visit.

"You gonna be ready for dinner soon?" I whispered to Joey after a while, breaking the sweet silence that had fallen between us.

"Can I change our plans?" he asked.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I don't want to go anywhere loud or busy," he said, "In fact, I'd way rather go pick something up and then sit out on the deck."

"Ok."

"You're sure? It's your last night in LA, if you want to go out I'll do it."

"No it's fine," I replied.

"I was thinking how I'd rather just spend time together since we won't see each other for the next week instead of going out somewhere with lots of people."

"It's fine Joe."

"Ok," he said, sitting up, "I'll go pick something up to eat."

"Do you want me to come?"

"Nah, I know what I'm going to get, it'll be quick."

"I'm just going to lay here until you get back then," I grinned, moving up the bed so my head was on a pillow.

"I'll come get you," Joey said.

I must have fallen asleep because a soft blowing on my face was the next thing I could recall.

"Hmm…" I mumbled, opening one eye to see Joey hovering over me with a grin.

"C'mon sleepyhead, time to eat."

"Oh," I yawned, sitting up and running a hand through my hair. Joey gave me a hand and helped me off the bed, leading me out to the deck. "Oh Joe…" I sighed as I took in the sweet sight before me. He'd lit a few candles that were flickering in the wind, a bouquet of flowers adorned the middle of the table, and glasses of wine rested at each place.

"Foods in the kitchen," he said, "I was going to get you then dish it up."

"Let me help."

"No, just sit down," he said, pulling a chair out for me. I did what I was told, looking out from the deck over the pool. The sun was starting to set behind the building and the lights of the pool were glowing.

"Joe this is way better than going out," I said as he came back out to the deck, setting a plate full of pasta in front of me.

"I thought it might be nice."

"It's perfect," I grinned.

We ate in relative silence, sipping our wine and catching each other's eyes every few minutes. The tension between us was a bit lusty, but I pushed that thought out of my mind. I wasn't ready to let things between Joey and I progress to more than cuddles and a few sneaky kisses. Not yet.

When we were done eating I grabbed our plates and took them to the kitchen for a quick rinse off, shoving the leftovers in the fridge as Joey grabbed the wine bottle and refilled our glasses. He'd dragged our chairs next to each other on the porch and when I sat down again he immediately put his arm around my shoulders pulling me closer to him.

"Promise you'll keep trying to find the books?" he asked quietly, referring to that first part. The missing one.

"I promise."

"Maybe your Dad has something?"

"I'll tear his place apart," I whispered, grabbing my wine glass and having a sip.

"That's my girl."

I smiled gently, leaning my head on his shoulder as I watched the pool area of our complex get darker and darker. The glow of the lights seemed entirely too enticing and I found myself yearning to jump into the water one last time before leaving LA.

"Wanna go swimming?" I whispered after a while.

"Now?"

"Just for a quick dip."

"Ok," Joey said, draining his wine.

I did the same and then ran into the bedroom to get in my bikini, wrapping a towel around myself and slipping on some sandals. Joey changed even quicker than I did, and before I knew it we were down in the water splashing about.

"I'm gonna miss this place," I said, "It's been a great couple of weeks."

"We'll be back," Joey said, treading water in the deep end, "This is our place."

"Oh yeah," I giggled, diving under the water. It seemed that you could swim under the water unnoticed if you avoided the bright lights, and soon we were making a game out of trying to scare the other person.

"Hey!" Joey laughed as I popped up alongside him for the third time in as many minutes.

"Got you!"

"No, I've got you!" he replied, wrapping his arms around my waist and picking me up. He held me cradled against his chest for a minute, water dripping from his nose as he stared at me.

"Joe…" I started, my voice quivering a bit as he leaned his face closer to mine and brushed his lips lightly against my own.

"Lauren Branning, I love you," he said quietly, but firmly.

"I love you too," I replied, slithering out of his grip so I was stood in front of him. Tentatively I reached my arms up and wrapped them around his neck, hugging him tight in the pool as he guided my legs around his waist and lifted me into his hold.

It seemed like an intimate and sexy thing to do, to make out in the pool, and it probably would have led to more. In a different time it definitely would have led to more. But we both knew where the boundary was right now. Until I found my memory, or something incredibly significant happened, this was what we were. It was nervous and endearing, gentle and careful. It was fearful of the past and optimistic of the future. It was everything that had happened to us over the last few months.

And it was pretty damn special.

* * *

I could have stayed in the pool with Joey all night, caught up in our little lovey world. It was so easy and comfortable between us that I didn't have a doubt in my mind that this guy was in fact my soulmate. No one else could have filled his shoes, ever.

"You're pruney," Joey laughed after a while, his hand untangling one of mine from around his neck. He showed me how my fingers had started to get wrinkly, his nose crinkled as he tried not to laugh.

"We've been in here for ages."

"So much for a quick dip," Joey smiled, his nose gently nuzzling against my cheek as we stayed close to one another.

"I guess we can get out," I sighed, "We do have kind of an early morning."

"Don't remind me."

"Too late," I grinned, pulling my limbs away from Joey and swimming over to the steps. I climbed out of the pool and ran to grab my towel. The temperature outside had decreased dramatically since we'd gotten in the pool and now it was quite chilly.

"I call the shower first!" Joey said as he let us into our flat.

"No fair!"

"I'd invite you to join me but…" he started, before snapping his mouth shut.

"Not yet."

"No, you're right," he said, "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just get your shower done so I can get mine, it's freezing!" I told him, trying to avoid a tense moment. I shoved him towards the bathroom wrapping my towel around me tight to keep warm.

I'd thought about it, for a split second I actually considered jumping in the shower with Joey. But it was too soon for me. He'd said it had taken a few months for us to get that far originally, and I could see it going the same this time. I was only just starting to love him and trust him again. There was no reason to push it.

When he was done I quickly rinsed off, pulling on some warm pyjamas and brushing out my hair.

"Climb in, I got you a hot drink," Joey said, nodding towards the steaming mug of tea beside the bed.

I grinned at him, jumping on the bed as I slipped under the covers. I was still a bit cold, but it didn't take long for the hot tea to warm me up.

As I sat in bed, Joey flicked channels on the TV, eventually settling on a film that was starting. Carefully he flicked out the light and leaned back into bed, balancing his own mug of tea as he tried to get comfortable.

"Joe?" I said quietly, watching him turn the volume down on the film.

"Yeah?"

"You ok?"

"Why wouldn't I be ok?" he asked.

"Just wondering," I shrugged.

"Are you ok?"

"I think so."

"What's up Lo?" he asked, turning to look at me. I set my drink down on the side, slipping down into the bed like he was.

"I don't know," I sighed, "I just hope this isn't so awkward for you."

"Why would you think that? Is it because of what I said before?" Joey asked.

"Yes. No. Maybe…" I replied, "I just don't want to seem like I'm not giving you what you want."

"Babe!" Joey laughed, grabbing my hand and pressing his lips against it, "You're giving me everything I could ever dream of! Hell, I could be divorced and living in some small place alone right now, but you're still here."

"Joe…" I warned.

"I'm not trying to be funny," he smiled, "I'm fucking lucky to have you in my life. I don't want you to feel pressured to act a certain way or be something you're not. I get it ok? We're doing this our way and taking our time. We don't need run before we can walk."

"Thanks Joe…" I replied, taking his hand and squeezing it.

"We're good?"

"Great," I said, finally feeling the smile return to my lips. I don't know what it was, but sometimes I just felt grossly inadequate around him.

"Do you have to go tomorrow?" he whispered after a minute.

"Sorry."

"I know, it's only a week…" he added, taking the words right out of my mouth.

"It'll be over before you know it," I said, "And you're going to be so busy anyways."

"Still… I hate waking up alone."

"You said we can Skype whenever," I told him, "It does go both ways you know."

"So what?" Joey asked, "I sleep with Skype on so I can wake up next to you?"

"Well that's a bit weird," I replied with a giggle, "But you can call me in the morning."

"You know I will. And at lunch. And in the evening. And before bed."

"I thought you had things to do!" I teased.

"Well I do… But you know I'll be thinking of you."

"Awww, sweet," I cooed, edging closer to him. Carefully he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me so my cheek was resting against his chest. I could hear his heart beating loudly as the film droned on in the background. But I didn't pay it a second of attention; I was too wrapped up in this crazy boy.

The next morning I woke up with a start, the blaring of the alarm clock awakening both Joey and I.

"Airport time," he groaned.

"No," I whined, wrapping my limbs around him.

"Come on babe," Joey whispered, untangling me and guiding me up. I gave him a frown as I climbed out of bed and went to sort out my hair, digging through my packed bags to make sure I had everything.

After a quick breakfast at the house I was dragged out to the rental car and taken to LAX. Joey helped me check-in, hauling my bags for me as I clutched my passport.

"You'll be ok?" he asked.

"I can do this," I smiled, referring to flying alone. To be honest I was terrified, but I didn't want to worry him too much.

"I'll see you in a week then," he smiled.

"See you," I replied, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tight. I felt his hands wrap around me, holding the small of my back as he inhaled the smell of shampoo in my hair.

"Love you Lauren."

"Love you too," I smiled, pulling away so I could give him a little grin. It didn't last long though; before I could even blink I was being pulled in for a sumptuous, dreamy kiss.

"Good luck hunting for clues," Joey said.

"I'll call you if I find anything promising."

"Call me when you get on the plane."

"I'll do that too," I smiled, hugging him again.

With a small sigh I was eventually released and pushed off towards security where I checked in and gave Joey one last wave goodbye. I could see him shuffling back to the car park as I wandered into the terminal, not totally sure what I was doing.

An hour later I sat down in my seat on the plane. Again Joey had gone out of his way to get me a nicer seat, a glass of champagne being offered as I sat down and my phone started buzzing in my hand.

"You're too much," I giggled.

"You made it on the plane?"

"Yup, Vodka in hand and everything."

"Brilliant!" Joey said.

"Thanks again for taking care of me."

"Thanks again for taking care of me."

"Love you too," I replied, chatting for another minute before being told I had to switch my phone off for the duration of the flight.

The second I shoved it in my purse I felt a tiny emptiness. I'd just spent the last few months with this guy, nearly every waking minute, and now we were cut off from each other. It was crazy, but for those four hours as I flew across the country I felt like I'd been cut off from my lifeline, that all too familiar ache in my heart beginning to pound. I didn't realize how much I needed Joey until that moment.

* * *

**Don't know if I will be able to post tomorrow as it's my town's gala day, and I'm going out for the night with a friend too. I will post a couple on Sunday though for sure :) **

**R&R **


	28. Chapter 28

"Lauren over here!" I heard called through the little airport in North Carolina. I dragged my bag behind me, following the voice and eventually finding my parents stood side by side.

"Hi!" I grinned, allowing the pair of them to pull me in for a tight group hug.

"How you doing sweetheart?" my Dad asked, looking at me expectantly.

"Still the same, but learning to deal with it," I shrugged.

"Awww, some time with yourMum and Dad will turn you right as rain," Mum smiled, hugging me again.

"I hope so, this is getting hard."

Mum gave me a sad smile and linked her arm with mine as my Dad grabbed my huge suitcase.

"Jesus this is heavy," he laughed as he tried to hoist it into the back of his car.

"I was just in LA for three weeks," I reminded him.

"Still, will you ever learn to pack light?"

I gave him a shrug, climbing into the back seat of the car. My eyes were glued to the window as we drove out to the house. North Carolina was so completely different to LA that I was caught up trying to figure out just where the hell in the world I was.

"Why did you move out here again?" I asked.

"I saw it in a film," Mum grinned, turning back to look at me as I continued to stare out the window, "I can't even remember what film it was. I think it wasn't very good, but this place just looked so gorgeous."

"So you bought a place out here?"

"We visited first, a couple years ago. And then maybe a month after you and Joey got married we made the move official."

"And I've visited?"

"Yeah, three times," my Dad said, "With Joey every time. You usually stop over on your way to or from LA."

"Makes sense, it's a long flight otherwise."

"This is our street," my Dad said, turning a corner and pulling up to a house. It was painted a greyish blue and set back from the road a bit. When I got out of the car I could smell the salt water of the ocean. "Come on, I'll show you around," my Dad said.

I gave him a grin and then followed him into the house. It was another one of those surreal experiences, being given a tour of a place you'd been a few times before. I had no idea that there was a swing on the back porch, or that I usually shared the room in the back corner of the house with Joeywhen we came.

"I'm just going to go for a wander," I said after the tour was over, "Check out the beach and that."

"Do you want one of us to come?" Mum asked.

"No thanks," I smiled, "Just trying to digest all of this."

"I'll drag your bags to your room," my Dad said, "And we'll walk down the road for dinner in like an hour."

"Thanks Dad," I said, giving him a quick hug before going out the back door and wandering out to the beach.

There were a few houses along the beach, but it was generally pretty quiet. When I'd first landed I noticed that the beach towns closest to the airport seemed pretty busy with tourists and resorts, but once we were a ways up the coast it got pretty peaceful.

I sat down on a dune of sand, watching the waves crash against the shore. Tall sea grass hid me from view as I sat and tried to think everything through. In my gut this place was going to hold some key to my memory. Somewhere locked in that house had to be a clue. But I didn't know where to start, or what questions to even ask. I hated being so lost and confused, and now that I was the entire width of America away from Joey, I started to feel really alone.

As if on cue my phone started to buzz in my pocket, Joey ringing from LA.

"Hey," I said quietly into the phone.

"Hey babe, how is it?"

"Not what I expected, at all," I told him. I'd texted him when I landed and he'd promised to ring me an hour or so later once I'd seen the place.

"What didn't you expect?"

"I guess when I picture a beach I think of palm trees and white sand, but this place isn't like that at all. It's got all this grass and the sand is kind of rocky."

"Just wait until night when the bugs come out."

"Bugs!" I squealed.

"Good bugs," Joey said, "Crickets and fireflies. It makes the whole place kind of magical."

"I wish you were here," I said after a moment of silence.

"Me too."

"It's weird doing this on my own," I added, "We've been trying to find clues together and now I'm back to doing it by myself."

"I'll be there in a week."

"But I should start searching now," I said.

"You don't have to," Joey said, "If you want to wait for me we'll search twice as hard when I get there."

"But then you won't get any time to relax," I said, "I'll start now, I just need to figure things out."

"You'll be fine,"Joey said, "You're amazing, don't forget that."

"How can I be amazing when I don't even know who I am?" I asked.

"You do know though. And anyways, I say you're amazing so that means you are."

I giggled at his statement, falling into a nice conversation with him about North Carolina. He told me about how we liked to sit out on the porch swing and watch for fireflies, and about the time he threw me in the sea and I nearly got stung by a jellyfish.

"I'm going to let you go now," Joey said, "Just believe in yourself and things will be fine. Trust your family too."

"I will," I smiled, "Love you Joe."

"Bye Lauren, love you more."

I hung up the phone and slid it into my pocket, standing up and brushing the sand off my backside.

When I got up to the house Mum collared me, a big grin on her face. "I saw you on the phone."

"Yeah?"

"Joey?"

"Yup," I smiled.

"Things are going better between you two then?"

"Much better," I replied, "I've learned to trust him and he's been absolutely incredible in helping me out. A total godsend."

"I've told you this before," mum said, "I've never met two people more in love than you two. Nor have I met two people more perfectly matched."

"I've got a confession, and I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like I've fallen in love with him all over again. Already," I grinned.

Mum grinned back, pulling me in for a tight hug. "I knew you would," she whispered in my ear.

* * *

**I know I haven't posted since last week but I did say I was back at work now after my weeks holiday, so I apologize if my updates are not as consistent. And I'm sorry I didn't post last Sunday when I said I would but I had had and eventful Saturday and had some decisions to make. **

**I just have to say this I love your reviews very much but I have been getting some hate as I can't post as often and for the fact that Lauren hasn't remembered yet, I can't just make Lauren suddenly remember I'm trying to make it realistic and this story is planned out so I know how it will end. And if you haven't noticed Lauren is falling in love with Joey again. :) **

**I hope you can understand about my lack of posting **

**back soon **

**R&R**


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